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THE POPULAR BOOK OF 
ENTERTAINING 



THE POPULAR BOOK 
OF ENTERTAINING 

GAMES AND PLAYS FOR 
EVERY OCCASION 



By 

V. C. ALEXANDER 

Author of The Everyday Games Book 



Philadelphia 
J. B. LIPPINCOTT COMPANY 



41 



PRINTED IN GREAT BRITAIN 



£? 



To 
MARY THOMAS, B.A., 

with all good wishes 



PREFACE 

Practically every idea in this book is original, 
although there are a few old favourite games in new 
dresses, and many of these, together with the Story 
Competitions and Plays, have been published in various 
daily and other periodicals. This is the first time, 
however, that they have been presented in book form, 
and I trust readers will enjoy them as much as they 
enjoyed my previous book. 

V. C. Alexander. 



CONTENTS 

GAMES AND COMPETITIONS' 



1. OPPOSITES 

2. EDITING A PAPER . 

3. MIND YOUR R'S AND S'S 

4. THE PIG STY 

5. PROFESSIONS 

6. A TELEPHONE GAME 

7. DON'T SAY THIS VERB 

8. THOUGHT READING 

9. TEA-POTS 

10. ALICE IN WONDERLAND 

11. WHO IS IT ? . 

12. DRAWING TO MUSIC 

13. A JOURNEY TO GO 

14. TABLE QUOITS 
If. ADVERTISEMENT SNAP 

16. A FINE DINNER PARTY 

17. A GUESSING GAME 

18. A NEW LETTER GAME 
19- SKETCHES 

20. WHAT AM I LIKE ? 

21. HOP ON ONE LEG PRESENT HUNT ! 

22. FEELING THINGS 

23. CINDERELLA'S SLIPPERS 

24. A REAL OBSTACLE RACE FOR INDOORS 

25. SIDES OF FLOWERS 

26. " ODDS AND EVENS " 

vii 



FAGE 
13 
13 
13 
14 
14 
15 
15 
16 
16 
17 
17 
18 
18 
19 
19 
20 
20 
21 
21 
21 
22 
22 
23 
23 
23 
24 



vm 



CONTENTS 



27. 


INDOOR OBSTACLE RACE 








28. 


DOUBLE RACING 








2Q- 


HUNTING COUNTERS 








30. 


BROOM DANCE 








31- 


NOAH'S ARK . 








32. 


SHOPPING ! .'■■•'. 








33- 


TREASURE HUNTS . 








34- 


LET'S PLAY AT JAMPOTS ! 








35- 


LAST-IN OBJECT 








36. 


TOY-SHOP 








37- 


A BUNDLE RACE 








38. 


A FISHING GAME . 








39. 


GEOGRAPHICAL CHARADES 








40. 


A FORM OF WORD BUILDING C 


OMPETITIOl* 


r 




41. 


WHEN TWO MAKES FOUR 








42. 


LIP READING 








43- 


AN APPLE RACE 








44. 


THE LAST WORD . 








45- 


A NOVEL CARD GAME 








46. 


NOTEPAPER FIGURES 








47- 


A STRING RACE 








48. 


A NEW CARD GAME FOR YOUN 


G AND OLD 






49. 


A NEW STEPPING STONES GAM] 


E 






5o- 


GATES . . . 








5i- 


I BRING YOU A PRESENT 








52. 


WHERE DID I GO ? 








53- 


THE MAGIC CARPET 








54- 


PLACES IN FLOWERS 








55- 


A TREE COMPETITION 








56. 


A BOOK TEA . 








57- 
58. 


BOOK COMPETITION FOR GROW] 
A ZIG-ZAG RELAY RACE . 


ST-UPS 






59. 


I HAVE A LITTLE SNAKE 








60. 
61. 


FLOWER-POT OBSTACLE RACE . 
ROPE AND KNOT TEAM RACE . 









CONTENTS 



IX 



62. A NEW BUN RACE .... 

63. MAKING A SEASIDE STEW 

64. SEASIDE NONSENSE QUESTIONS 

65. AN HISTORICAL COMPETITION . 

66. CHOPPING-ME-TO-PIECES COMPETITION 

67. A BUILDING-UP COMPETITION . 

68. HOW TO MAKE A SECRET LANGUAGE 

69. PROVERBS COMPETITION . 

70. PROBLEM COMPETITION . 

71. A FILM COMPETITION 



STORY COMPETITIONS 

1. NURSERY RHYME COMPETITION 

2. MRS. MURPHY'S CHILDREN 

3. THE KING'S EIGHT DAUGHTERS 

4. THE PEARL NECKLACE . 

5. THE GRANDMA WHO WAS DEAF 

6. THE COLOUR STORY 

7. THE DREAMER ( VERSE COMPETITION) 

8. PUCK COMES TO EARTH . 

9. FAIRYCAKE . . . . 
IO. A SEASIDE COMPETITION 



PLAYS 

1. CHRISTMAS PRESENTS 

2. IF THE GUINEA-PIG HAD A TAIL 

3. THE BEWITCHED BOWL . 

4. HOW THE BLUEBIRD WAS FOUND 

5. THE BEST-MADE PLANS . 

6. A LITTLE BIRD TOLD US 

7. THE CHINA SHOP . 



GAMES AND COMPETITIONS 



i. OPPOSITES. 

This game is a great favourite, and there are many 
ways of playing it. This one is for players to sit in 
a row with one who is schoolmaster or mistress. What- 
ever she tells one to do, that person must do the exact 
opposite. If she tells one to stand up, one must, of 
course, sit still, and the opposite. If she tells one to 
smile, one must keep a very stiff face — and it is only 
natural that some of the players will be sure to laugh. 
These have to fall out of the game. The player who 
stays in the game the longest wins a small prize. 

2. EDITING A PAPER. 

This is similar to the Family Coach. The player 
who tells the story is the Editor, and he calls for the 
sub., pencil, pen, paper, printer, printing press, adven- 
ture story, artist, full-page drawing, etc. It is great 
fun when there are several players. (The game can 
be played with any subject.) When the Editor says 
he is Editing the Paper, all the players get up and run 
to a pre-arranged home, the first or last arriving there 
is now the Editor. 

3. MIND YOUR R's AND S's. 

This is another version of P's and Q's, with which 
game everyone is so familiar. Players sit in a circle, 
and one stands in the middle of it, and asks questions. 

13 



14 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

These questions should be on a special subject, such as a 
garden, places, people, etc., and the players have to 
answer them with words beginning with R or S before 
the player in the middle counts ten. For example, 
the player can ask " What is your favourite vegetable ?" 
The answer can be radish, and to the question " I 
saw a peculiar animal in your garden yesterday — what 
was it ? " the answer could be " Slug." Any player 
not answering promptly must pay a forfeit. Any two 
or three letters of the alphabet can be chosen. 



4. THE PIG STY. 

Players sit round in a circle, and one stands in the 
middle. This one asks questions, commencing with 
" I heard you were seen in the pig sty yesterday : how 
did you get in ? " The answer must be by something 
that can be seen in the room. For instance, if played 
in the schoolroom, one would say "by a chair " or 
" by a blackboard." The object is to make the answers 
as silly as possible so that someone laughs. If they do 
this they pay a forfeit, and change places with the ques- 
tioner. The questioner asks this question of all the 
players, and if he does not catch anyone out, he goes on 
to ask — what did you find there ? How was the sty 
furnished and other such questions. No player must 
give an object which has already been given, and it is 
rather fun when there are a lot to find out new things 
which can be seen by all, to give. 

5. PROFESSIONS. 

Players sit around, and one tells a story after the 
others have chosen a profession each. When the 
player stops and looks at someone that person has to 






THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 15 

say a sentence in keeping with his profession. The 
sentences can be very amusing. The game should be 
played briskly. 



6. A TELEPHONE GAME. 

Players sit in a row and one stands in the middle. 
The middle player says he or she wants to telephone 
to the police that his dog is lost, or to the fire brigade 
that his house is on fire, and so on. After he has 
announced what the subject will be, he turns to the 
first player in the row, and asks what he would say to 
the police. This player must answer immediately — 
only one sentence. The question is asked along the 
whole row. The answers should be amusing, for the 
players are allowed to say any nonsense that comes into 
their heads. A small prize could be given for the 
answer that is considered the best, in which event it 
would be as well to have a grown-up ask the question, 
unless the party be a small one, when all could have a 
chance to question. 

7. DONT SAY THIS VERB. 

Everybody knows that sentences must have verbs, 
and in this game one player goes out of the room, while 
the others decide that whatever questions he comes in 
to ask they will not say a certain verb — if they do, they 
have to pay a forfeit and change places with the 
questioner. Of course, only easy verbs should be 
chosen — to have — to be able — to hope — are good ones, 
or very amusing answers are given if the verb to be 
must not be used. 



16 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

8. THOUGHT READING. 

You don't have to be a wizard to do this. One 
player goes out of the room, and another who knows 
the game with him, says that his partner will tell them 
what they have been thinking about. The audience 
then decides on some object, say a certain picture, and 
the player outside the room is called in. He is then 
asked if it is this object, and that, but none of them 
are right. Then the player asks if it is the right object, 
and he says yes. The secret is that the player asking 
questions touches something when it is the right thing, 
such as a button on his waistcoat, or his face, or a ring 
on his finger. The player guessing must, of course, 
know beforehand what is the clue, and the other 
player must give it to him in such a way that 
nobody guesses. 



9. TEA-POTS. 

The best way to play this game is to choose a word 
with two or three meanings, as it is much more fun. 
One person goes out of the room, and the others decide 
what the word shall be. The player then comes into 
the room and asks questions. Supposing, for instance, 
the word decided upon was " boy." It can also be 
" buoy," a lifebelt, and buoy, the verb. In replying 
to the player's question, the word chosen must be 
introduced into the answer, but instead of saying it, 
the player must use " tea-pots " instead. For example, 
the question is " What did you see on your holidays ? " 
— the reply is, " I saw tea-pots there." This can mean 
either boy or buoy, singular or plural. Again the reply 
to the question "What did you feel like on your 
holidays? " could be " I was tea-pots there " (I was 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 17 

buoyed up there) . As soon as the player questioning 
guesses the word another takes his place. 



10. ALICE IN WONDERLAND (or any other well- 

known book). 

The game should be prepared beforehand. Small 
cubes of paper with letters from the alphabet are 
required (letters for word building can be bought, and 
these do excellently). There should, of course, be 
plenty of vowels. Players sit round a table and take, 
say, twelve cubes from a pile in the middle of it. At 
the word " Go ! " they start to build up words which 
are to be found in Alice in Wonderland, or Alice through 
the Looking-Glass — White Rabbit — Duchess — Carpen- 
ter, etc. Players need not make their own word, but 
can build up on other players'. Thus, if a player has 
written the word " Alice " and the person next to him 
has put down a " Du — ," he can, before this player 
has time to put a C, add this letter, or he can stretch 
across the table and do the same thing. The player 
who gets rid of all his letters first wins the game. The 
more letters there are, the more fun the game is. The 
great idea is to keep one's eyes open for the word one's 
neighbour is making, and try and add superfluous 
letters at once. 

11. WHO IS IT ? 

The party is divided in half, one of which goes out of 
the room, while the other sits down. The one half 
comes into the room, and each player announces he 
or she is someone, or they can act to be someone, as, 
for example, Napoleon, Florence Nightingale, etc. 
They then go out of the room, and paper and pencil 

B 



18 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

are handed to the sitting players. The other half now 
comes back into the room in quite a different order, 
and the players sitting down are asked to write down 
who each one is supposed to be, starting from the left- 
hand side. The players stay for five or ten minutes 
according to the number of players, then they call out 
their names, and the players sitting down check their 
lists. The one who is right, or nearly right, wins a 
prize. 

12. DRAWING TO MUSIC. 

This is somewhat like Musical Chairs, only players 
sit at a table with drawing boards in front of them, 
one player, of course, is out. When the music starts 
players commence to draw — when the music stops 
they lay down their pencils and move to the next seat, 
the player who is out now has a chance of getting a 
seat and continuing to draw one of the pictures — if he 
is quick enough. The game is continued until there 
is only one player left in. The results are sure to be 
most amusing. As a chair is taken away, so a drawing 
board will be taken also. 

13. A JOURNEY TO GO. 

Several pieces of cardboard should be prepared 
beforehand. They are made into the shape of an arrow. 
(These, of course, will last for years if properly cut, 
so should be put carefully away after each game.) 
Children sit on the floOr with an arrow each in their 
right hands, with the exception of one who sits facing 
them, and has no arrow. They twirl the arrow round 
their heads once or twice as agreed upon beforehand, 
then let the arrows fall on the ground. The players, 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 19 

the points of whose arrows face their backs, must run 
to a pre-arranged home, chased by the player without 
the arrow, and whoever he catches is out. The others 
all gather up their arrows and sit down again. The 
game is continued until all the players except one are 
out. Another version is for the " he " to change places 
with the player he catches. Players can also stand 
instead of sitting, but unless the arrows be made of 
fairly stout cardboard they will not drop so well. 

14. TABLE QUOITS. 

This is a splendid game for a wet afternoon when 
one has to stay indoors. To make a table quoit one 
uses a pencil stuck on to something that will stand 
steady, such as a piece of wood, thick cardboard, etc. 
For throwing over the pencil use bone rings. 

15. ADVERTISEMENT SNAP. 

This is a splendid game for winter months. One has, 
of course, to prepare the cards beforehand. From old 
magazines advertisements should be cut out. There 
must be several of the same kind. Paste these on to 
thin cardboard : they need not be all the same size, 
in fact it is more fun if they are not because those 
players who are quick at remembering have the advant- 
age over those who are not, and it makes them hurry 
up and think. When there are sufficient (fifty-two 
cards are in a pack of playing cards) this game can be 
played many times. I would advise four of each 
advertisement being made. The game can also be 
played like " old maid," if one or three of the advert- 
isements are taken out of the pack. 



20 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

16. A FINE DINNER PARTY. 

This is a competition game. On as many cards 
as there are players, write the courses and their descrip- 
tions for the dinner party. The cards are given to 
the players, who are asked to fill up what they had for 
dinner. The answers should be the same as those in 
brackets against each course. 

Soup. An imitation animal. (Mock Turtle) 

Fish. A special label off a parcel. (C.O.D.) 

Game. We all have it, only some more than 

others. (Hare) 

Roast Meat. An English author. (Lamb) 

Cold Meat. Most men have it. (Brawn) 

Vegetables. Two kinds of toes. (Potatoes and 

Tomatoes) 
Pudding. A couple and sharp. (Pear Tart) 

Cheese. A native of a foreign country. (Dutch) 
Fruit. Found in history. (Dates) 

17. A GUESSING GAME. 

Take a word that can be made into two or three 
words without using the same letters twice, and write 
description of these words on cards. A time limit 
should be given, and the player who has guessed the 
most words in this time wins the game. The difference 
between this game and word building is that no letter 
may be used twice. The following is a good example : 

My one, two and four make a. girl's name (Nan). 

My three and five, part of the verb to be (is). 

My six, seven and eight, had they a head would 
make a chef (00k). 

My whole is a kind of muslin in eight letters (Nain- 
sook). 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 21 

18. A NEW LETTER GAME. 

As many cards as there are guests are to be prepared, 
and on them is written " My name is Cinderella, I 
am (title) of (country). I live in (town) and I like 
(fruit) and (flowers)." The players must write 
above the words in brackets other words beginning 
with the letter C, such as Countess, China, Chelsea, 
Cokernuts, Cornflowers. The game can be played 
with each child having a different character, such as 
Peter Pan (P), Alice (A), or with the same character 
throughout : in which event the one who has the most 
words unlike the others wins the prize. 

19. SKETCHES. 

This is rather a good game for clever people. 
Required : paper and pencil, and if liked it can be pre- 
pared beforehand. If played this way, twelve descrip- 
tions of well-known' people should be written on the 
card, for example : " This sketch refers to a popular 
writer who deals with fairies." The answer could be 
Barrie, Andrew Lang or Conan Doyle. It is best to 
make the sketch a little ambiguous, which could refer 
to two or three people : the hostess, of course, knows 
the right one, and when all the questions are filled up, 
the right answer is called out. If only a few people 
are playing, say six, it would be fun to ask the six to 
write a description of someone, and the other five write 
underneath whom they think it is. 

20. WHAT AM I LIKE ? 

Players are armed with pencils and paper. One 
starts off by saying : "I am like a kitchen." The 



22 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

others start to write as quickly as they can sentences 
referring to kitchen utensils, such as " empty as a 
sieve/' " cold as the water in the tap/' " sweet as 
sugar/' etc. There should be a time limit, and the 
player whose answers are the best should have a small 
prize. Any room can be used, and the game can be a 
questioning one. In this event the answers should 
quickly follow one another, and no answer should be 
given twice. 



21. HOP ON ONE LEG PRESENT HUNT ! 

Presents are put on a table or in a big tub and players 
stand in a line a certain distance from them. At the 
word " Go ! " they hop on one leg to the table, search for 
the parcel bearing their name and hop back. The 
one who arrives back first has an additional present, 
while the one who forgets to hop has to wait for his 
or her present until all the others come back. He also 
receives something silly such as a lump of coal, or a 
piece of orange skin ! 

22. FEELING THINGS. 

This is a splendid observation game, though the 
players are blindfolded. The players are divided into 
two parts, one side is blindfolded while the players in 
the other are each given a leaf or a flower to hold. They 
also have a piece of paper with the names of the players 
on the other side written down, or the players could 
have numbers. The blindfolded players stand in a 
row and the other side hand them in turn the leaves or 
flowers to feel, and they write down what the blind- 
folded players say each leaf is. This is continued to 
the end of the line, after which it is the other side's 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 23 

turn. There should be a different set of leaves or 
flowers for them, since they know what the leaves they 
are holding are. After they have had their turn the 
cards are collected and checked ; the best player in 
each side should have a small prize. 

23. CINDERELLA'S SLIPPERS. 

Players cover their shoes with newspaper and stand 
behind a sheet. The boys have to guess the girls' 
and the girls the boys'. Marks should be given for 
those who are correct. Much amusement is caused as 
players are allowed to disguise their feet by padding 
with paper. 

24. A REAL OBSTACLE RACE FOR INDOORS. 

Those who do not know this game will find it great 
fun. Obstacles are placed in the space in the middle 
of the room — a chair, footstool, bundles of music, etc., 
and the players who do not know the game are blind- 
folded, and are informed that the onlookers will see 
that they do not hurt themselves, etc. As soon as they 
are blindfolded, the lookers-on will remove, without a 
sound, all the obstacles, and the players are told to 
start. It is most amusing to watch them taking great 
care to walk over things that are not there ! When the 
bandages are taken off their eyes, they should be given 
a small recompense such as a bag of sweets or an orange 
for being " had." 



25. SIDES OF FLOWERS. 

For this game there should be at least twenty-four 
players a side, each player on either side representing 



24 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

a letter of the alphabet (X and Z can be omitted). 
The two sides stand opposite each other, each side 
deciding beforehand which flower it will spell. The 
left side calls out " Show your flower," then the letters 
representing the flower they have chosen step two 
paces forward. The players on the right side have to 
guess before the left side counts ten what flower the 
players who are forward represent. The great thing 
to remember is to know where the vowels come. Those 
players who guess right have a mark. Then the right 
side has its turn. The game is continued until a player 
in either (or both) sides has ten marks (or whatever 
number is decided upon) when he or she receives a 
small prize. 



26. ODDS AND EVENS. 

In this game there should be a fairly large number 
of players, who are divided into two ranks of equal 
numbers. Between the two ranks should be a thickly 
chalked line. The two ranks are the same distance 
from the line. There is a referee who numbers off the 
players, one side being even and the other being odd. 
When all players have their numbers the referee can 
call out "evens move to line" or "odds move to 
line " — in either event the rank in question runs to 
the line — the last man to arrive there falls out as in 
musical chairs — or the referee- can call for two evens or 
three odds, or an even and an odd to move to line — in 
every case the last man to arrive falls out, and so on, 
until there is only one man left in. 



27. INDOOR OBSTACLE RACE.— This is great fun, 
though, of course, one cannot run about like in an 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 25 

ordinary obstacle race. Players start off carrying a 
book under one arm, they go to a certain point in the 
room where they find some ribbon which they have to 
tie round their left wrists while keeping the book under 
their arm. If they drop the book it counts against 
them. Then they go to another spot where they find 
another book, which they have to put under the other 
arm, to another spot where they have to clasp a neck- 
lace round their necks, always keeping the books under 
their arms. It is a fine game to play in different rooms 
in a large house, or a small one for that matter, where 
each player does not know what " obstacle " he or 
she is going to meet with. As many obstacles as are 
liked can be added, such as picking up a handkerchief 
off the floor with books under the arms, picking up a 
sweet from the plate into one's mouth and so on. 

28. DOUBLE RACING. 

This is very amusing. Players are in couples, the 
left-hand player holding on to the left arm of her neigh- 
bour in such a way as to leave her left hand free. At 
the word " Go," the players all race to a table on which 
are round objects such as oranges, balls, etc., the left- 
hand player always holding the left arm of her neigh- 
bour. If she leaves go they have to fall out of the 
game. When they arrive at the table, the right-hand 
player has to try and pick up an object while the left- 
hand player does her best to prevent her. There should 
be two prizes — one for the right-hand player who arrives 
back with her partner to the home with the orange first, 
and one for the left-hand player who keeps her partner 
at the table until all the others have run back. Once 
the right-hand player has grasped the orange, the left- 
hand player cannot try to prevent her from taking it 



26 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

back home, but still holding her arm, must run back 
with her. 



29. HUNTING COUNTERS. 

This is quite a good game for a wet day. Brightly 
coloured tiddly-winks counters are hidden about the 
room, and the children are set to find them. A sealed 
envelope contains the information as to how much each 
colour counts, say, blue counts ten, green nine, pink 
eight and so on. When all the counters have been 
found or " time is up " the sealed envelope is opened 
and the children count their finds. The one who has 
the largest number of counters wins a small prize, 
also the one who has the largest number of " pips," 
that is, the one who has the best colours. Thus every- 
body has a chance. 

30. BROOM DANCE. 

In this, one girl has a broom with which she dances 
in a circle made by couples dancing round. Directly 
the music stops, the girls must change partners, while 
the girl with the broom drops it, and tries to get a 
partner before the other girls do. A good game for 
Hallowe'en. 

31. NOAH'S ARK. 

In this game players are divided into two sides, and 
two players represent Mr. and Mrs. Noah. If these 
can stand at a doorway dividing two rooms so much the 
better. If not they should stand at one end of the 
room which represents the " Ark." One half of the 
players sit at the other end of the room to the Ark, 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 27 

while the other half comes through from the hall pre- 
tending to be the different animals. They walk round 
in a circle, once or twice, as is agreed upon beforehand, 
then the players watching get up and join them, doing 
the same animal actions as they do. Thus they walk 
into the Ark, where Mr. and Mrs. Noah line them up, 
and Mr. Noah asks the players who were the first, 
what animals they are, while Mrs. Noah asks the 
players who had joined them what they are. In most 
cases the latter players will have thought their partners 
to be the wrong animals, and great fun will be obtained. 



32. SHOPPING ! 

This is a jolly game to play with lots of people, 
who are divided into two parties. One half is the 
buyers and the other the shopkeepers. The buyers 
go shopping. The shopkeepers stand in a row, and 
each goes through the pretence of selling his wares, 
as for example, the draper will pretend to cut off a 
yard of material, the grocer will fill bags with sugar, 
the butcher will cut up meat, and so on. The buyers 
do not know what each is selling except through dumb 
antics. They therefore go up to a shopkeeper and ask 
for something they think he sells. If they are wrong 
they have to pay a forfeit : if right, they change places 
with the shopkeeper. It is as well to have an equal 
number of shopkeepers and buyers so that each can 
have a turn. 

33. TREASURE HUNTS 

are always exciting. In this one, to be played 
indoors, the hostess hides a small prize somewhere 
about the room. The players are given cards on which 



28 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

they write their names, and are told to put them where 
they think the treasure is hidden. The player whose 
card is nearest the hidden treasure wins it. There can be 
half a dozen treasures hidden this way, but in this event, 
if there are twelve players taking part, those who 
are farthest away from the hidden treasures should not 
be left out, but the hostess should have something 
for them too — a bag of sweets, or something similar. 



34. LET'S PLAY AT JAMPOTS ! 

This is quite an exciting and really difficult game, 
so the player who wins it should have an exciting 
prize ! Jampots are placed along the floor in a row> 
as many pots as there are players. In each pot is 
a reel of cotton. Players are provided with table- 
spoons, and are lined up in a row opposite the pots. 
At the word " go " they have to run to the pots, kneel 
down, and pick out the reels with the spoons, and run 
back to the " home." Of course, only one hand must 
be used, and it is quite likely the cotton will come un- 
done and pull the reel off the spoon. This, of course, 
adds to the fun ! All kinds of things can be used 
instead of cotton reels— pennies, matchboxes, matches 
themselves, but the principle is the same. 

35. LAST-IN OBJECT. 

A game to play indoors or out. There are two sides, 
each player on one representing objects, and on the 
other colours, the colour side being one player short. 
The colour side calls out what they represent, then they 
stand opposite the other side. The game is for the 
objects to run to the colours they are, and the one who 
arrives there first stands in front of the colour. Those 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 29 

coming after must try another colour, and the one 
who is left out falls out of the game, together with the 
end colour. Objects in front of wrong colours pay- 
forfeits. Objects that can be many colours are, of 
course, chosen, and each side should have a turn at 
being " colour " and " object " — two prizes thus being 
necessary. 



36. TOY-SHOP. 

In this game several players are required, who are 
divided into " sides." Each side has a turn. There 
is a shopman with his toys. One of the players is a 
doll, another a golliwog, another a lion who roars, 
and so on. The other side comes and buys. This 
side does not know what the shopman has to sell, 
though the " toys " should be standing quite still in 
the " shop " waiting to be bought, still sometimes the 
buyers can guess from the toy's attitudes what they 
are supposed to be. Sometimes, however, they cannot, 
and should a buyer ask for anything the shopman has 
not in stock, he has to fall out of the game, and so on 
until all the buyers have fallen out. Then it is the turn 
of the other side to have the shop. The shopman should 
be able to talk well and wittily. This would make a 
good game to act before grown-ups. In which case 
there should be only one side, and the shopman exhibits 
his wares, talking all the time, asking them if they 
would not like to buy a golden-haired, blue-eyed baby 
doll, a wonderful golliwog, etc. 

37. A BUNDLE RACE. 

This is a most amusing game. Bundles of news- 
papers, not too large, should be tied with string, long 



30 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

enough for a player to hold them to drag along the 
floor. The players are divided into two sides of equal 
number, which stand in front of each other — the side 
with the newspapers foremost. At the word " Go " 
the first side should have about ten yards' start, then 
the others should follow on. The idea is for the second 
side to try to seize hold of the bundle of newspapers 
without breaking the string before the first side reaches 
the " Home." If the string breaks the " he " has to 
fall out of the game. The player who reaches home 
first with the bundle intact wins the game. The chased 
may jump the bundles about, but if they let go of the 
string, they too have to fall out of the game. Each 
side should have a turn at chasing and being chased. 

38. A FISHING GAME. 

This is most amusing. As many players as are 
desired sit round a table, each armed with an ordinary 
clip clothes-peg. In the middle of the table is a heap 
of counters (tiddly-winks ones do splendidly). At 
the word " Go," players commence to pick up the 
counters with their pegs, placing each counter in front 
of himself. Only the right hand must be used : the 
left should hang straight down by the side, or be behind 
the back. If a counter is dropped in carrying it from the 
heap to one's own special pile, it has to be left where it 
falls, and anyone, except the player who dropped it, 
can pick it up. The one who has the most counters at 
the end of the game should have a small prize. 

39. GEOGRAPHICAL CHARADES. 

This makes a welcome change from ordinary char- 
ades. There are, of course, two sides, one guessing and 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 31 

one playing. Some places are quite easy to describe 
in dumb show, such as Deal — players sitting around 
and one dealing out pretence cards — Lyons, players 
coming into the room on all fours and roaring. Other 
towns require more thinking about, but whatever way 
it is played, it is sure to create amusement. 



40. A FORM OF WORD BUILDING COMPETI- 
TION. 

Word building is always a popular form of com- 
petition. Below is an example of a new form. Most 
words can be adapted. Write the clues on as many 
cards as players, and hand round. Suggested words : 
England, Partner, October, Gardener, Heliotrope, 
Phantom. 

Note. — Choose words with plenty of vowels. 
Example : 

I am a word of seven letters — my whole meaning an 

attendant. (Servant) 
My 1st, 2nd and 5th letters mean part 

of the ocean. (Sea) 

My 2nd, 4th and 5th form a girl's name. (Eva) 

My 3rd, 5th and 7th make an animal. (Rat) 

My 4th, 5th and 6th form a conveyance. (Van) 

My 5th, 6th and 7th an insect. (Ant) 

My 6th with 2nd, 1st and last, a home. (Nest) 

My last letter is also a drink. (Tea) 



41. WHEN TWO MAKES F&UR. 

This sounds puzzling, but really it is a quite easy 
competition. The following six clues are written on as 



32 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

many cards as there are players, and they are asked to 
express words of four letters in two letters : 



I. 


A part of the face. 


Eyes. 


II 


2. 


Clever. 


Wise. 


YY 


3- 


Comfort. 


Ease. 


EE 


4- 


A girl's name. 


Edie. 


ED 


5- 


Another girl's name. 


Katy. 


KT 


6. 


Does not pay back. 


Owes. 


00 



42. LIP READING. 

This is an amusing game for indoors and out. Play- 
ers stand in a line, one steps forward and faces the line. 
Her lips form a command, such as " Jump," " Dance," 
" Run to the Oak Tree." The player who is next to 
her steps briskly forward and stands beside her, and 
her lips form what she thought the command was, and 
so on until the end of the line. It is not at all likely that 
the first command will be spoken by the last player, 
and it will be very amusing to hear what is said. The 
game should continue until each player has had a 
chance of starting it. 



43. AN APPLE RACE. 

This is a splendid game for the Christmas holidays. 
Players each have an apple and a piece of string. 
There is a starting place and a home. At the word 
" Go ! " players have to tie the string round the apple, 
make a loop at the other end of the string which 
they attach to the first" or little finger, and arrive at the 
?' home " without the apple falling to the ground. 
Any player whose apple slips to the ground must^ of 
course, fall out of the game. The player who arrives 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 33 

first with the apple on the string wins a prize. This 
game can be played with oranges (even more difficult) 
or nuts. (Brazils are the easiest.) 



44. THE LAST WORD. 

This is a fireside game, and should be played very 
briskly. Players sit around, and one says the next 
player must immediately say a sentence starting with 
Time — " Time and tide wait for no man " — the next 
player starts a sentence with Man, and so on until 
all have had a turn. The sentences need not be 
original, though, of course, it is much more fun if they 
are, also, to make it more difficult, all sentences can con- 
sist of, say, six words, otherwise the player must pay 
a forfeit. Whichever way the game is played, it should 
be carried on quickly. 



45. A NOVEL CARD GAME. 

For two or more players. Players sit at a table, and 
they have an equal number of cards each. The game 
is played as snap, but instead of saying snap, the 
player who turns up a card like the one already shown 
makes a noise like any animal, while the player next 
to him calls out which animal he is supposed to be. If 
he is right, the two piles of cards are shared between 
them : if wrong, the player who made the noise takes 
the lot. Only the player who has put down a duplicate 
card may make a noise, and the player on the left or 
right, as agreed upon beforehand, can call out the 
animal. But it is quite likely that the cards will fall 
so that all have a chance throughout the game. A 
variation can be that the first player who calls out to 
c 



34 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

which animal the noise belongs can share the cards. 
Other variations will be found by the players. 



46. NOTEPAPER FIGURES. 

This is a good game for the winter evenings. Each 
player is provided with a piece of notepaper (any kind 
of paper will do really) and a pair of scissors, which 
should be sharp enough to cut good angles. At the 
word " Go ! " the papers are folded in half, and figures 
are cut from the folded paper, joining somewhere so 
that they can stand up. The easiest way is to make 
the top of the head come at the bend. The player who 
cuts out the best figure in a given time wins a prize. 
The game need not be confined to figures only, animals 
and objects are very good. They can be coloured and 
features drawn in. This need not be done on the same 
day, and thus forms employment for another afternoon. 

47. A STRING RACE. 

Quite an amusing game can be played with lengths 
of string. If indoors several lengths are tied to the 
backs of ordinary kitchen chairs placed in a row. 
Players stand in a line, and at the word " Go ! " they 
run to the chairs, untie the string and place it either 
over their arms or in a basket they carry on their left 
arms. This is arranged beforehand. The one who has 
gathered the most pieces of string during a given time 
wins the game. If in the open, the string can be 
stretched between two trees, and lengths hang from it 
which have to be untied. In either case if the player 
drops a piece of string it counts against her. 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 35 

48. A NEW CARD GAME FOR YOUNG AND OLD 

To every household come catalogues from various 
shops. From these cut out furniture, food, etc., which 
paste on cards all the same size. (Fifty-two cards to 
an ordinary pack, but yours can be as large as you like.) 
Players sit round the table, and cards are dealt equally. 
Each player asks of her left-hand neighbour if Mrs. 
Brown can buy something, say, a sideboard. If the 
player has a sideboard she has to give it to her, and Mrs. 
Brown asks the next player who, if she has not what 
Mrs. Brown wants, says so. The second player then 
asks her neighbour, and so on. The game is continued 
until one player is " sold out," when she receives a 
prize, also it is quite a good idea for the one who has 
bought the most things to receive a prize. 

49. A NEW STEPPING STONES GAME. 

This game is always popular, but have you played 
it this way ? It can be played indoors or out. For 
indoors use rounds of newspaper, placed a stride apart 
in a zig-zag manner. Players have to walk from each 
piece of paper to the other, to a " home " without 
touching the carpet with a cardboard box balanced on 
their heads. If they touch the carpet or drop the box, 
they have to fall out of the game. The one who arrives 
first quite safely wins the game. 

Played outdoors, newspapers would blow away, if 
at all windy, so use bricks or flowerpots — the latter 
are the better fun — but keep the cardboard box on the 
head, since if this blows away it would only add to the 
amusement of the game ! Of course, players in either 
way must not touch the box on the head with their 
hands. 



36 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 
50. GATES. 

Write the following seven clues on cards and hand 
Tound to players, telling them that all the words to be 
guessed end in gate : 



I. 


A stone. 


(A-gate) 


2. 


A seaside town. 


(Mar-gate) 


3- 


To smoke. 


(Fumi-gate) 


4- 


To question. 


(Interro-gate) 


5- 


One who runs away. 


(Runa-gate) 


6. 


A London suburb. 


(High-gate) 


7- 


An old prison. 


(New-gate) 



51. I BRING YOU A PRESENT. 

In this game one of the players is king or queen, and 
sits on a chair, the other players have arranged before- 
hand (unknown to the king) what trade they follow, 
and at a signal from the king, who has a piece of paper 
and a pencil in his hand, they line up and bow before 
him one by one, at the same time pretending to give 
him a present, mentioning something from their trade. 
For example, the cobbler would bow and say " Shoes," 
the king would write down on his piece of paper what 
he thought the trade was; He might have it wrong, 
as it could also be " shoemaker." The game is con- 
tinued until all have brought their presents, then the 
king's list is read out. Each player should have a 
turn at being king, and of course, with each change, 
each person should change their trade. 

52. WHERE DID I GO ? 

This is quite a good game to play when the holidays 
are over, and if there are several playing it is all the 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 37 

more fun. One player starts by saying, " I went during 
the holidays to Windsor Castle," the next one adds 
" and tte Tower of London." The third player repeats 
these two places and one of his own. The game is 
continued along all the players. Directly a player 
makes a mistake such as repeating a place already 
mentioned or putting them in their wrong order, he or 
she will have to fall out of the game. This continues 
until, like musical chairs, there is only one player left 
in. It is very- hard to remember the order in which 
thirty or more places come ! 

53. THE MAGIC CARPET. 

There were twelve spots on the nursery carpet, and 
one day, just for a few hours, they were bewitched into 
twelve different things from the Fairy Tales. I wonder 
if you can guess in which fairy tale each thing is to be 
found ? (Note. — The above paragraph can be written 
on cards with the clues below, or can be spoken after 
the cards with the clues written on them have been 
given round.) 

1. A cupboard. (Old Mother Hubbard) 

2. A spinning wheel. (Sleeping Beauty) 

3. Kitchen hearth. (Cinderella) 

4. A bundle. (Dick Whittington) 

5. A pair of large boots. (Puss in Boots) 

6. A golden egg. (Mother Goose) 

7. A packet of beans. (Jack and the Beanstalk) 

8. A basket containing a pot of butter 

and several other things. (Red Riding Hood) 

9. A piece of bread. (Tom Thumb) 

10. A key. (Bluebeard) 

11. A mirror. (Snow White) 

12. A rose. (Beauty and the Beast) 



38 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

54. PLACES IN FLOWERS. 

Write the description on cards and hand to players 
to discover the hidden places. A time limit should be 
given. 

1. Take a fifth of deadnettle and the first syllable of 

a big tree of five letters and make a seaside town. 
(De-al. The tree is alder.) 

2. Take a third of chickweed and a fifth of nastur- 

tium, and make a large country. (Chi-na.) 

3. Take a quarter of hyacinth, and a little time 

(thyme) and one letter of evergreen and make 
another seaside town. (Hy-the.) 

4. Take the mar in marigold, and a quarter in gar- 

denia and a third in teazle, and make another 
seaside town. (Mar-ga-te.) 

5. Take a third of pimpernel, half of lily, mix together 

with a part of cowslip, and find a part of London. 
(Pim-li-co.) 

6. Take half of a wise plant (sage), a quarter of hare- 

bell, and a little radish, and make a very large 
desert. (Sa-ha-ra.) 

55. A TREE COMPETITION. 

Write on cards the ten descriptions of trees given 
here, and impose a short time limit, say ten minutes, 
for guessing : 

1. The schoolmaster's tree. (Birch) 

2. The not-me tree. (Yew) 

3. The left-by-the-fire tree. (Ash) 

4. The trembling tree. (Aspen) 

5. The crying tree. (Weeping Willow) 

6. The not beautiful tree. (Plane) 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 39 



7- 


The East London tree. 


(Poplar) 


8. 


The seaside tree. 


(Beech) 


9- 


The one and one tree. 


(Pear) 


0. 


The old joke tree. 


(Chestnut) 



56. A BOOK TEA. 

This is a competition in which the hostess prepares 
a large table before the guests arrive. There can be 
as many books as the hostess likes, and each player is 
provided with a card numbered accordingly, and a 
pencil. The books are represented by little scenes on 
the table, and the players have to guess what they are. 
The one who gets the most right wins the prize. Num- 
ber one, for example, could be Treasure Island. This 
would be represented by a piece of looking-glass in the 
middle of which would be heaped some imitation grass, 
amongst which would be hidden imitation money. If 
a boat with tiny figures can be obtained and shown 
rowing or sailing towards the island so much the better. 
Other titles could be Sleeping Beauty (a large doll 
asleep), a match (The Lamplighter), etc. 

57. BOOK COMPETITION FOR GROWN-UPS. 

Write the twelve following descriptions on cards, 
and give to the guests. A time limit should be allowed 
for the twelve books to be written against the descrip- 
tions : 

1. Calm weather prevails on the west 

side of England. (All Quiet on the Western Front} 

2. Heaven. (Journey's End) 

3. Good King Wenceslas. (A Christmas Carol) 

4. January 6th. (Twelfth Night) 

5. Tadpoles. (Water Babies) 



40 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

6. IV. (The Sign of Four, can also be written 4) 

7. Marshal Foch. (4 Gentleman of France) 

8. January 1st to January 22nd. (Three Weeks) 

9. Billie, aged 4, and Jenny, aged 2, 

are coming to tea with me. (The Young Visiters) 

10. 500,000 x 8. (The Four Million) 

11. Any lighthouse exposed to the 

weather. (Bleak House) 

12. A bell of the muffin man. (The Ringer) 



58. A ZIG-ZAG RELAY RACE. 

This game requires preparation beforehand. Chairs 
are placed in a zig-zag manner along the garden, as 
many rows as there will be lines or racers. The relays 
are waiting a foot from the chair towards the winning 
post, and the players have to run round the chair, sit 
upon it, before the relay can have the stick or handker- 
chief which he has to carry on. Once a player has sat 
down he must not move until the relay in that line has 
reached the winning post, otherwise a forfeit must be 
paid. This is quite a change from ordinary relay racing, 
especially as it is more than likely, when a player sees 
his line winning, he is almost sure to stand up and 
shout. The forfeit can be paid by the individual or 
the line, as arranged beforehand. 

59. I HAVE A LITTLE SNAKE. 

This is a version of " The Little Dog," which is such 
a popular outdoor game. Players stand in a line, and 
sway backwards and forwards, or can take two steps 
to the right, then two to the left. There is a player 
standing in front of the line who is the snake, and he 
runs up and down the line, saying, " I won't eat you," 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 41 

until he finds a player he will eat, and then he says, " I 
will eat you." This player has to run to a prearranged 
home. If he gets there without being caught, it counts 
against the snake, whereas if he is caught it counts 
for the snake*. The game is continued until all the 
players have been chased home, then the fors and 
againsts are counted up. Another version can be for 
the snake and player being chased to change places if 
the player is caught. 



60. FLOWER-POT OBSTACLE RACE. 

This is a most amusing game. Flower-pots are 
placed in rows along the garden path, and the players 
all line up with balls in their hands. The game is for 
each player at the word " Go ! " to bounce their balls 
into the flower-pots. If they manage to do this it 
counts ten marks. They then take their balls out, and 
run to within a yard, two yards or three yards as 
arranged beforehand, and marked with a stone, of the 
next flower-pot, and here they try to bounce their balls 
into this one. There should be two prizes — one for 
the player who obtains the most marks, and another 
for the player who arrives first at the home. Balls 
must be bounced. 



61. ROPE AND KNOT TEAM RACE. 

Players stand in lines, so many in each line, as in 
ordinary team racing, and the first runners in the line 
have a piece of rope and an ordinary curtain ring in 
their hands. At the word " Go ! " players slip the 
ring over the rope and knot it on, run to the next player 
in their line, who does the same with his or her ring, 
and so on until the whole of the line has had a turn. 



42 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

The last one who arrives home first wins the game for her 
line. Rings can be knotted on as the players run or before 
she starts to run, as the individual likes. It is very 
interesting to note which method wins the game. 



62. A NEW BUN RACE. 

Bun races always cause the greatest of fun. In 
this one, the buns are tied on strings which are of 
varying lengths and are tied to a long string across the 
room. Players have a pair of scissors in their right 
hands, and must keep their left hand behind their 
backs. They run to the buns and must cut the bun 
down and carry it back to the starting point. One can 
have no idea how hard it is to cut off a jumping bun 
and catch it with one hand. The one who arrives first 
at the string has the most chance. 

63. MAKING A SEASIDE STEW. 

This is a game for the seashore. Players sit round 
in a circle on the sands with a pail in the middle of it. 
One player is stirring the stew the whole time; and she 
calls out that John or Mary must throw something into 
the stew. John or Mary then throws a piece of sea- 
weed or a small pebble, and if it falls into the pot or 
pail it counts one for the player : if it does not fall 
into the receptacle, the player changes places with the 
cook. The player who gets ten marks first of all wins 
the game, and should have a piece of chocolate or a 
nice ripe pear. 

64. SEASIDE NONSENSE QUESTIONS. 

Players sit around, and they decide that whatever 
questions are asked they will answer by something 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 43 

from the seaside. The end player now asks questions 
all along the line. He can ask whatever he likes, but 
the answer must be something connected with the 
seashore or seaside. Supposing a player asks " What 
did you have for breakfast ? " the reply could be 
" Crab on seaweed." A variation can be that players 
are " out " if they laugh or smile when answering, or 
questions can be asked just for a round, though all 
players should have a chance to ask questions. No- 
player must reply with an object that has already been 
given. 

65. AN HISTORICAL COMPETITION. 

Copy on cards the following descriptions of well- 
known people, and give the players a time limit : 

1. A breakfast dish. (Francis Bacon) 

2. A small female bird. (Christopher Wren) 

3. A singing bird. (Florence Nightingale) 

4. Followed Mary to school. (Charles Lamb) 

5. The grate in the kitchen. (Kitchener) 

6. Not slow. (J. Swift) 

7. When you mix red, blue and 
yellow together, this lady's name 

is obtained. (Lady Jane Grey) 

8. Boys and girls ride it. (Sir Walter Raleigh) 

9. Something to grip. (Handel) 
10. Used with ink. (W. Penn) 

66. CHOPPING-ME-TO-PIECES COMPETITION. 

Write on cards the following competition, leaving* 
blanks where the words are in brackets. (Note. — The 
following is only an example of this competition. Many 
other words can be " chopped " in the same way.) 



44 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

I am a word of five letters : my first letter is my 
right arm, and my last letter my left arm. My second 
letter is my right leg and my fourth letter my left leg. 
My third letter is my body. 

My whole means a vagabond (tramp) : cut off my 
right arm and add another and I become a kind of 
pain (cramp). Cut off my right arm entirely and I 
begin to rage (ramp). Now remove my right leg, and 
I am a term used in electricity (amp). Remove my 
left arm, and I am part of the verb to be (am). 
Cut off my left leg and my body becomes a vowel (A). 
Start to build me up again by adding a right leg and I 
am a "Thank you" (ta). Add my left leg and I 
become part of a short cap (tarn). Join on my left 
arm, and if two other letters are added, I should be 
part of a verb meaning to meddle (tamp). Add my 
right arm, and my whole becomes something everybody 
uses (stamp). 



67. A BUILDING-UP COMPETITION. 

Competitions of this kind should be written on cards 
and space left for the players to fill in the words. A 
time limit according to the age of the players should 
be given. The letter A is used in this instance as the 
example. Any letter, of course, can be employed. 

A — The first letter of the alphabet. 

A and one letter, part of the verb to be. (Am) 

A and two letters, a famous girl's 

Christian name. (Amy) 

A and three letters, bitter. (Acid) 

A and four letters, a fruit. (Apple) 

A and five letters, meaning over. (Across) 

A and six letters, someone who acts. (Actress) 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 45 

A and seven letters, a military officer. (Adjutant) 
A and eight letters, the citadel of 

Athens. (Acropolis) 

A and nine letters, one who travels. (Adventurer) 
A and ten letters, poles used in 

mountains. (Alpenstocks) 

A and eleven letters, loving. (Affectionate) 

A and twelve letters, combinations. (Amalgamations) 
A and thirteen letters, public 

notices. (Advertisements) 



68. HOW TO MAKE A SECRET LANGUAGE. 

If one wants to puzzle one's friends, a good secret 
language can be made by following the rules given 
below. In each word put the last letter first, and 
then the first letter next to it, then put the letters 
forming the middle of the word, starting from the last 
one. The idea can be used also as a competition, using 
proverbs, nursery rhymes, book titles, etc. The lan- 
guage is quite easy to understand, as will be seen from 
the following sentence. Eterh dbnil emci ese who 
yteh nru. (Three blind mice see how they run.) Six 
sentences are enough for a time limit of ten minutes. 



69. PROVERBS COMPETITION. 

Write the following wrong proverbs on cards and 
leave space underneath each for the right ones to be 
written : 

1. Too many apples spoil the pie. 

2. Drink while the tea is hot. 

3. A rolling football gathers no earth. 

4. Fine clothes make fine ladies. 



46 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

5. A cake in the hand is worth two in the oven. 

6. People in greenhouses should not keep elephants 
as pets. 

7. All are not diamonds that sparkle. 

8. You can't keep a pie and give it away. 

9. Never count your eggs before they are laid. 
10. I have a story to share with you. 

Answers. 

1. Too many cooks spoil the broth. 

2. Strike while the iron is hot. 

3. A rolling stone gathers no moss. 

4. Fine feathers make fine birds. 

5. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. 

6. People who live in glass houses should not throw 
stones. 

7. All is not gold that glitters. 

8. You can't have a cake and eat it. 

9. Never count your chickens before they are 
hatched. 

10. I have a bone to pick with you. 

70. PROBLEM COMPETITION. 

Copy these six problems on cards and give them to 
players to solve in five minutes. 

1. I have ribs and I am sometimes short and chubby, 
sometimes tall and thin. (.Umbrella.) 

2. I have eyes and I am small, round I am some- 
times, but often knobbly. (Potato.) 

3. I have two hands and a face, but strange to say, 
no mouth or legs. (Clock.) 

4. I have a heart, but it is usually pale and people 
sometimes call it poor. (Cabbage.) 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 47 

5. I have arms, yet I never embrace anyone — I 
always wait for them to embrace me. (Armchair.) 

6. I have nails, but I never scratch. (Horseshoe.) 



71. A FILM COMPETITION. 

Films play a great part in our national life, therefore 
a film competition is always acceptable. The repre- 
sentations of the twenty following films should be 
written on cards, and handed round to players. A time 
limit should, of course, be imposed, according to the age 
of the players — half an hour should be the limit. 

Representation. Film. 

1. Tom Mix, Buck Jones, Douglas 

Fairbanks, Jack Holt. The Four Horsemen 

2. Epsom Downs on Derby Day. The Big Parade 

3. Sir Walter Raleigh lays his cloak 

for Queen Elizabeth to walk on. Beau Geste 

4. Oxford Street has one at its east end. The Circus 

5. _— London 
Don. 

6. Chaplin's father's sister. Charley's Aunt 

7. What we call our baby. The Kid 

8. Frivolous matrons. Foolish Wives 

9. Maid of all work. The General 

10. He who goes to Mecca. The Pilgrim 

11. Spotless footwear. White Slippers 

12. Amy's flight. The Great Adventure 

13. Father with legs five feet long. Daddy Longlegs 

14. Flies by night. The Bat 

15. Run under motors : Catch buses 
when they are going : Jump out 

of moving trains. Safety last 



48 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

Representation. Film. 

16. A rodent. The Rat 

17. Carter Patersbn's van. The Covered Wagon 

18. Kippers — minus two letters. Kipps 

19. Dual personality. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde 

20. Our lady. Notre Dame 



STORY COMPETITIONS 



STORY COMPETITIONS 

These are always in demand, and I take a great 
delight in writing them because they are very popular 
with the lonely child, and the child with imagination 
can use them as bases for his or her own ideas. They 
can also be used as competitions either typed or 
" jellied," and given to players to fill in or guess, and 
as after- tea stories they are invaluable. The following 
are a few ideas, which can be altered, modified or 
enlarged or used as models as the case may be. 

i. NURSERY RHYME COMPETITION. 

Read through this story once slowly, then again 
quickly, and ask players to write on cards the different 
characters who were met. If the story be typed or 
" jellied " it can be pinned on a blackboard and all 
should read it together. 

The Magic Seashore. 

They told me the seashore was a magic one, and if I 
went there at noon on Christmas Day I should see ever 
so many old friends from the Nursery Rhymes. So on 
Christmas Day I took a walk by the seashore, and sure 
enough the first person I met was a lady in a tall hat, 
and beside her was strolling a gander. I recognised 
her at once, and politely bowed. The second person 
or people, I should say, were a little boy and a little 
girl. They were trying to climb up the cliff and had 

51 



r 



52 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

a bucket between them. I hurried past that cliff — 
because, oh, you know why. 

The third person was sitting in a corner. He was 
eating something from a pie-dish, and he looked so 
very good I didn't like to disturb him, so I again hurried 
along. The fourth person was also sitting down, only 
this time it was a little girl. Suddenly she gave a 
little scream, dropped the bowl she was holding, and 
ran away as fast as her legs could carry her. I ran after 
her, because I don't like, you know what. Oh, by the 
way, the fifth person I met was a very old lady and a 
very old friend. She was leaning heavily on a stick 
and shaking her head. Beside her was a dog, who every 
now and then stood up and begged. Then she would 
shake her head still more. They didn't see me, and I 
felt so sorry for them. 

The sixth person I met was sitting on a breakwater, 
and he was smiling all over his round face. " I am 
expecting the king's army," he said. I didn't say 
anything because, you see, I knew what was going to 
happen to him, and it wasn't any use the king's army 
coming. My seventh friend had a name beginning 
with P, and he couldn't say many words unless they 
began with P. He was carrying a bag of pepper and 
he was muttering to himself all the time. Immediately 
behind him came a little boy all dressed in blue. He 
had a horn slung round his shoulders and he was 
rubbing his eyes. I knew he had been asleep, and it 
wasn't any good my speaking to him. 

Round the corner was my ninth friend. He was 
singing at the top of his voice, and I listened to his song. 
He said he cared for nobody since nobody cared for 
him, and he worked from morn till night. Therefore I 
said to myself, it is no use my speaking to him and 
interrupting his work. 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 53 

My tenth friend was a king with his crown on all 
awry and behind him walked three men carrying 
fiddles, and three others carrying a glass, a pipe and a 
tobacco pouch each. He bowed graciously as he passed 

by. 

Number eleven friend was playing merrily on the 
pipes as he danced by, but I noticed he could only play 
one tune over and over again, and by that one tune I 
recognised him. I was coming to a large cave, and in 
that cave I knew Mother was waiting for me to come 
back from my walk. I did hope I should meet another 
one or two of my friends before I entered the cave. I 
only met one, a little girl, so prettily dressed, and 
behind her was walking a little, was it a dog, I don't 
think so, but just at that moment mother called to me 
from the cave, and the little girl and her animal dis- 
appeared. Do you know whom I met on the magic 
shore ? 

Answers. — Mother Goose, Jack and Jill, Jack Horner, 
Miss Muffet, Old Mother Hubbard, Humpty Dumpty, 
Peter Piper, Little Boy Blue, The Jolly Miller, Old King 
Cole, Tom the Piper's Son, Mary and her Little Lamb. 

2. Another form of story competition is that in 
which words are hidden in other words. Write the 
following story on a blackboard, or on as many 
cards as there are players, and give a time limit for the 
players to write down the children. 

Mrs. Murphy's Children. 

Mrs. Murphy had so many children (ten to be exact) 
that she was never quite sure of their names, and when 
people came to visit her, she would say they must 
excuse her if she talked nonsense, but that was the only 



54 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

way she could remember her children's names. She 
certainly did talk nonsense, but when she had finished, 
she would smile and say, " There, I have remembered 
all of them." The following was the conversation she 
always had. She would pause at the words underlined 
and smile, for those words contained the names of her 
children. Can you guess them ? 

" Yes, my dear, there was a Revolution amongst the 
children yesterday. It was all on account of the 
Anagrams one of them had made up. Sometimes 
these things are very Useful. But often I can't make 
a Single word of sense out of them. They are quite 
Excellent for the memory, so the Squire at the Manor 
told me. Did you know they had a fire there yester- 
day, and there was much Salvage ? The Heroism 
their dog displayed was wonderful, and my dear, you 
know what a Torment he is as a rule. There now, I've 
remembered all my children's names ! " 
Answers. 

Revolution ... Violet. Anagrams ... Sam. 

Sometimes ... Tim. Useful ... Sue. 

Single ... Nigel. Excellent ... Nell. 

Manor ... Nora. Salvage ... Val. 

Heroism ... Rose. Torment ... Tom. 



3. A CIPHER STORY COMPETITION. 

In olden days people had ciphers — an arrangement 
of words or letters meaning something quite different. 
In the following story, the professions of the men the 
princesses married are in cipher. Type or " jelly " 
the story on as many sheets of paper as there are 
players, and give them a quarter of an hour to decipher 
the words, putting the correct ones in the margin. 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 55 

The story can also be read, and the words in cipher 
written upon a blackboard, from which the children 
write them down. The one to find the cipher first to 
have a small prize. 

Key for the organiser. Last letter first, then first 
letter, next alternate last and first letters. 

Suggestion. Take any short story from any story 
book, and pick out certain words, which put in cipher, 
or suggest the children each make up a cipher, and the 
rest guess it. 



The King's Eight Daughters. 

The King of Tumtumland had eight daughters, and 
he thought it was time they became married. There- 
fore he sent out his heralds, and suitors came from every 
part of the world. Each suitor had to do a great deed 
or bring the princess something before he could win her. 

Prince. — The first one to win a princess was a good- 
looking EPCRNI. He easily overcame a fire-breathing 
dragon, though the dragon was supposed to be the 
worst in the whole world. 

Blacksmith. — The next to win a princess was a 
HBTLIAMCSK. He went searching round the world 
for a golden horseshoe, and at last he found it and gave 
it to the princess. 

Sailor. — The third daughter married a RSOALI 
who had captured a large sea-lion, which he gave to 
her as a pet. 

; Peddler. — The fourth princess disappeared one 
night, and the guards of the palace found a long silken 
rope hanging from her bedroom window. She sent a 
letter saying she had eloped with a (RPEEDLD), who 
had given her a pure golden rope which had taken 
him five years to make. 



56 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

Airman. — The fifth princess was captured from a 
balloon by a daring (NAAIMR). She loved adventures, 
and ever afterwards she had plenty. 

Inventor. — The sixth princess fell in love with a 
clever RIONTVNE, and she had quite an adventurous 
life as the fifth princess, but she too liked excitement. 

Acrobat. — The seventh daughter married a wonder- 
ful TAACBRO. He taught her how to jump from one 
tree to another, and many other tricks. 

Painter. — The baby princess refused to marry any- 
one except a (RPEATIN). " He'll be able to do 
useful things as well as have beautiful ideas," she 
said. 

So all the king's daughters were married and lived 
happily ever after. 

4. Here is another hidden code story, somewhat 
different from the foregoing. We have all of us at 
some time considered that we would make quite good 
detectives. Here is a good competition story to test 
our powers. The story should be typed on sheets and 
handed round to the guests. A time limit should be 
given, and then the one who has guessed where the 
necklace is hidden should have a prize. The story could 
also be read out round the fire, and players asked to 
discuss where the hidden necklace is. The hiding-place 
is quite easy to find, if one listens attentively. 

The Pearl Necklace. 

Lady Elizabeth was watching the men of her captor's 
ship, The Merry Roger, set more sail. The breeze 
was strong, and the Captain hoped to make his hiding- 
place before night. The men sang as they worked, 
and everyone was happy, for had they not captured 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 57 

the famous Lady Elizabeth, and would there not be 
a rich ransom ? 

Suddenly the men in the crow's nest called out : 
" Ship ahoy — king's men ! " 

" Put on all sail, and we shall escape them," cried 
the Captain, and to Lady Elizabeth he commanded, 
" Get you below, and should there be a battle do not 
show yourself." 

The Lady Elizabeth swept him a mock curtsey. 
Some few minutes later came the bomb from the 
frigate's cannon as it called for the pirate ship to 
surrender. 

The pirate answered the challenge and the battle 
started. The Lady Elizabeth in the cabin listened to 
the bangs and crashes. Then a pirate entered the 
cabin and told her to go on deck. Here she found 
Lord Philip, her sweetheart, with his hands tied behind 
his back, and several of the frigate's men roped together. 

" Aha, Lady Elizabeth," the Captain said. " I 
might have guessed your noble lover would have 
followed you. His life will be spared if you will tell us 
where you have hidden your famous pearls. We know 
you had them with you when you were captured, but 
where are they now ? " 

The Lady Elizabeth looked the pirate chief full in 
the face. 

" 'Tis a fine pickle we are in, indeed, Captain Pirate, 
and I do not propose to tell you." 

" Tell me where the necklace is, and I will spare your 
lover's life, otherwise " 

" Your voice doth jar on me," said the Lady Eliza- 
beth, " I will not tell you." 

" Then in five minutes he walks the plank." 

" On the saloon table I have left my kerchief. Will 
one of your men fetch it for me ?" 



58 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

" Your levity will not save you or him, Lady Eliza- 
beth. You walk the plank together. Seize her ! " 

But ere the men could obey, a shot from a frigate 
which had crept up unseen by the pirates who were so 
busy thinking about the necklace, had knocked the 
hat completely off the Captain's head, and took his 
wig with it. 

The pirates were taken by surprise, and five minutes 
later the Captain was standing with his hands tied 
behind him, and his men roped together. 

" The necklace," cried Lord Philip, and he told one 
of his sailors to fetch it. 

The pirate Captain glowered and wondered why he 
had not thought of that place. The reader will have 
guessed that Lady Elizabeth spoke as she did because 
she had seen the frigate creeping up — now perhaps the 
reader can tell where the necklace was hidden. 

Answer. Lady Elizabeth and Lord Philip had a 
secret code, which they were to use should they ever 
wish to communicate with each other in danger, or if 
they did not want others to know what they were 
talking about. In case the reader has not guessed the 
code, it was the fourth word in the first sentence Eliza- 
beth (or Philip) spoke, fourth word in the second 
sentence, then third and fourth words in the third 
sentence. Pickle — jar — saloon table. 

5. ALTERING THE LAST LETTER COMPETI- 
TION. 

Have you ever thought how by altering a letter at 
the end of a word, its sense will be altered entirely ? 
In this competition, which should be typed or " jellied ■' 
and distributed amongst the guests, the words are all 
of four letters : the children's questions giving the 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 59 

clue to the first word, and by Grandma altering the last 
letter of it, her sentence will give the second word. 
The story can also be read and discussed, as suggested 
for the previous one. 



The Grandma who was Deaf. 

Poor Grandma ! It was a pity she was deaf, but if 
only she would have worn an ear trumpet or something 
like that, but she always said she could hear quite well. 
Still after she had been to her grandchildren's party, 
and had given all the wrong answers to their questions, 
she agreed that perhaps it would be as well to wear an 
instrument, and when she had one, she was so 
delighted that she wondered why she had not worn 
one before. 

But to return to the party. This is what happened. 
There were so many grandchildren that mother was 
rather afraid Grandma would be tired before she had 
spoken to them all, so she told them they were only at 
first to ask Grandma one question each. 

Jack, as the eldest grandson, commenced. 
" How are you, Grandma? Of course, you did 
not hear the window crash last night because it 
Mica, was made of imitation glass." 

" Indeed, Jack, you were mistaken. I did 
Mice, hear them scampering about overhead." 

Jack looked bewildered, but he had asked his 
question, so he gave up his place to Maggie. 
" I met the postman just now, and he said 
Mail, the letters were not yet in from across the 
water," Maggie said. 

" You should always turn it off from the 
Main, chief part if you don't want the house flooded," 
was Grandma's reply. 



60 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

A puzzled frown came between Maggie's 
eyes, but her place was immediately taken by 
Sydney, who briskly said : 

Sham. " Don't you think, Grandma, that the imita- 
tion rose over there on the mantelpiece by 
father's pipe is a good delusion ? " 

Shag. " Of course, I don't smoke. How could you 

think of such a thing ! " Poor Grandma was 
so indignant. 

Sydney opened his mouth to speak, but as he 
had asked his one question, Barbara at once 
took his place. 

" Grandma, did you notice as you came in 

Post. through the hall the new pillar ? " she asked. 

Posy. " Yes, I am very fond of bunches of flowers," 

Grandma replied. 

Barbara looked strangely at Will, who took 
her place. 

" They were lovely apples you brought, 

Rind. Grandma, but I took the skin off mine." 

Ring. " Yes, I agree the metallic sound is peculiar 

to them," said Grandma with a smile. 

Will did not have time to argue (as he was 
rather fond of doing) before Sybil kissed 
Grandma on both cheeks and said : 

Fire. " Did you see the conflagration, Grandma, 

yesterday, at the baker's shop ? " 

Firm. " I never did like that commercial house and 
I never shall." Grandma's voice was very 
decided. 

Sybil had always thought the baker was a 
very nice man, but as she had asked her 
question, she could not ask another until after 
they had all had a turn, and then only if 
Grandma was not too tired. 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 61 

Bertie's turn was next ; " Fido did such a 
Deed, wonderful exploit the other day, Grandma," he 

said. " I wish " 

" I think it is very cruel to hunt such animals 
Deer. for venison," Grandma interrupted. " I don't 
like it." 

Bertie gasped. What did Grandma mean ? 
The children were standing in a little group 
wondering whatever had happened to Grandma. 
Joan stepped forward briskly with her 
question. 
Clog. " I want to show you, Grandma, the shoe I 

had given me," she said. 
Clot. " I never could bear a coagulated mass of 

any kind," said Grandma with a little shudder. 
" Grandma is mad," whispered Peter as he 
stepped forward. 

" No, deaf," was Joan's remark. 
" Hallo, Grandma ! Would it tire you to 
come into the garden, and see our new thick 
Bush, shrub ? " 

Bust. " Yes, I always think a statue of head and 

shoulders is the best of anyone," Grandma 
began to look tired. 

" She is mad," whispered Peter. 
Nellie the baby stepped forward now. 
" What do you think, Grandma? Father 
Hind, is going to give me a little female stag for my 

birthday." 
Hint. " I don't know what suggestion has to do 

with birthdays, but I think it would be as well 
if you acted on it now, and left me alone for a 
bit, I am very tired." 

So Grandma was left alone, but when she was told 



62 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

of the way she had answered the questions of the 
children, she bought the instrument, as I have already 
said, and now she answers every question perfectly. 



6. A COLOUR STORY COMPETITION FOR THE 
TINIES. 

The story should be typed or jellied and handed to 
the guests. Blanks should be left in front of the nouns 
where proposed colours are put in brackets. No colour 
can be used twice. The player who has the most 
colours unlike anyone else wins the game. 

Suggestions for this kind of competition and the 
preceding one — take any story from any book and 
adapt it. Great fun can be obtained in both cases. 
The former idea is, of course, for much older children 
than this present one. 

The Colour Story. 

The (white) rabbit was playing hide-and-seek in the 
(golden) clouds. The (grey) snowman was " he " and 
they both gave a big leap and landed on top of the 
(red) roof of the (brown) hen's house. The rabbit ran 
upstairs and got into the hen's bed, and he pulled the 
(pink) coverlet over his feet to keep them warm. The 
snowman found the postman's (green) bicycle and tried 
to balance himself, but he fell off and knocked up 
against a big (black) bear. The bear was angry and 
began to walk up the (blue) mountain. On his way he 
met a (tan) terrier carrying a (mauve) bag in his mouth. 
The bear asked what was in the bag, and the terrier 
said a (purple) handkerchief belonging to the rabbit. 
The bear told the terrier the rabbit was hiding behind 
a (n-orange) fence and the snowman had been caught by 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 63 

the little boy with the pretty (auburn) hair. The 
snowman had offered the little boy a (silver) sixpence 
if he would let him go, but the little boy had replied 
that a sixpence would not buy him the (dappled) pony 
he wanted. As they were talking up came some 
(yellow) geese and said shoo to the showman, who was 
so frightened that he ran to the (scarlet) motor-car and 
drove away. The little boy went to visit the (striped) 
zebras and took them some food in a (cerise) dish. 
When he came back he found his father had brought 
him a present of a lot of (fawn) rabbits, and he put 
them in a little cage painted (emerald), and this is the 
end of the story. 

7. VERSE COMPETITIONS. 

Verses appeal to many children. It is quite a good 
idea to take a popular rhyme, write it on cards, leaving 
out the nouns and ask the children to write them in. 
It is quite a good knowledge test. For younger children 
a space could be left for the missing word, but for older 
ones, words could be substituted. Another way is to 
find words hidden in the words in the verses by the 
means of clues. Such a competition requires a certain 
amount of preparation beforehand, and for that reason 
I have written an original verse, and give it below, but 
where such a game is played alone, almost any poem 
can be taken, since almost every word contains another 
in it, or joined to another will make a word. In copy- 
ing the verse given here, the hidden words should not, 
of course, be underlined. 

The Dreamer. 
There's a dear little house at the top of a hill, 
And a bright little boy lives there. 



64 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

His eyes are blue and his smile is wide, 
And he's curly chestnut hair. 

His name is Paul, but they call him Jack, 
For a sailor he wants to be. 
He talks and dreams of nothing else, 
But the ships that sail the sea. 

He dreams of fighting pirates bold 
And seeking of treasure rare, 
In a ship that flies across the seas 
To the lions' forest lair. 

He dreams of smugglers in their caves, 
And of savages so black. 
Of how he fights and wins his way 
And plants the Union Jack. 



Clues. First Verse. 



Second Verse. 



Third Verse. 



Fourth Verse. 



Part of the face. 

A fish. 

Affirmative. 

Atmosphere. 

A French town. 

Chop. 

Found on the seashore. 

Connected with haws. 

Part of the verb to eat. 

Certain. 

Tree. 

Mineral substance. 

Successor. 

Cry. 

Preposition. 

Insects. 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 65 

The following competition, a literary one, was 
written especially for Rangers and Guides, and was 
published as a competition in The Guide. The verses 
should be well known to girls of thirteen and over — 
boys too — and would make a pleasant competition 
for school or home. I would suggest for the former 
that the verses be written on the blackboard as the 
stoty is read : and for the latter that the verses be 
written in Indian ink on cards and held up for all to 
see. A few seconds should be given for deliberation, 
but not longer, so that the spirit of the story is 
not lost. 

Suggestion — other verses can be substituted, and the 
story cut and altered as the circumstances allow. But 
competitions of this kind if told in story form are much 
more interesting than verses just written on cards, and 
players asked to say from what poems they are taken, 
and/or who are their authors. 

Puck Comes to Earth. 

" Puck," said Queen Mab reprovingly, " I cannot 
put up with your tricks any longer. I must banish 
you for a week." 

" Why, Your Majesty ? " asked the Imp of Mischief. 
He looked very demure, but he kept his eyes on the 
ground in case Queen Mab should see the mischief in 
them. 

" For your misdeeds. Listen, I will tell you a few 
of them. You put salt in the fairy Rosebud's tea this 
morning : you soaped the pudding dish for the cook, 
and we couldn't eat the rice pudding she made for 
dinner. You mixed up the parcels we were sending to 
the hospital and those who should have received nice 
warm socks received tin whistles ; you " 

E 



66 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

Here Puck burst into a loud chuckle. He simply 
couldn't help it. The Queen looked at him sternly. 

" Therefore," Her Majesty added, " I must banish 
you, else I shall have my fairies all up in arms, and a 
revolution in Fairyland is not to be thought of. Go to 
the mortals, and if they haven't had enough of you 
in a week's time, you may stay there for ever, if you 
like." 

Puck bowed, and spreading his wings, flew to earth. 
He had been thinking out a plan all the time he had 
been flying, and as he looked through the windows of 
Miss Smith's school he chuckled so loudly that Miss 
Smith asked Billie Jones to shut the window, the wind 
was making such a noise. But Puck had slipped in, and 
had hidden in Miss Smith's inkwell. Billie shut the 
window. 

" Queen Mab says that mortals will be tired of me 
in a week. I'm going to make them send me back to 
Fairyland within an hour." He chuckled. " I'm 
going to bewitch them all. It will be such fun, and 
Miss Smith will be so angry. What is the lesson they 
are having ? History ! Well, if I can't have some fun 
in a history lesson my name isn't Puck. I'm going to 
bewitch them so that whatever question Miss Smith 
asks, they will reply in poetry, and they won't know 
where it comes from, either. Hooray ! " Here Puck 
was so excited he turned head over heels in the inkwell, 
and the ink went all over Angela's copybook. Miss 
Smith wondered where the blot came from, but she 
was late with the lesson, so she hurried to ask Angela 
what date William the Conqueror came to the throne. 
Angela stood up and this is what she said : — 

I sprang to the stirrup, and Joris and he ; 

I galloped, Dirk galloped, we galloped all three : 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 67 

" God speed ! " cried the watch, as the gate bolts 

undrew : 
" Speed ! " echoed the walls to us galloping through. 
Behind shut the postern, the lights sank to rest, 
And into the midnight, we galloped abreast. (1) 

Miss Smith's eyes behind her glasses were larger 
than ever. 

" What ! " she cried. " Have you any idea what you 
are saying, Angela ? " 

" I answered your question," said the little girl 
demurely. 

" Answered my question indeed ! You will write 
twenty lines of that poem after the others have all 
gone. Now, Jack, kindly answer my question. When 
did William the Conqueror ascend the English throne ? " 

Jack's reply was : — 

The curfew tolls the knell of parting day, 
The lowing herd winds slowly o'er the lea. 
The ploughman homeward plods his weary way, 
And leaves the world to darkness and to me. (2) 

" Stop ! " cried Miss Smith. " This is not a poetry 
lesson ! It's a history lesson. Is it a conspiracy, or 
are you all bewitched ? If Molly doesn't answer my 
question properly I shall be sure it is one or the other. 
Molly, please answer the question I put to the others." 

Molly stood up and said : — 

God of our fathers, known of old, 
Lord of our far-flung battle line : 
Beneath whose awful hand we hold 
Dominion over palm and pine. 
Lord God of Hosts be with us yet, 
Lest we forget, lest we forget. (3) 



68 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

Poor Miss Smith sat down, while Puck, delighted 
with the success of his magic, turned two more somer- 
saults and made ever so many more blots. Miss Smith, 
however, just managed to gasp : " Whose daughter 
was Queen Anne, Ernest ? " and the little boy replied : — 

Hail to thee, blithe spirit ! 

Bird thou never wert ; 

That from heaven or near it, 

Pourest thy full heart 

In profuse strains of unpremeditated art. (4) 

" I don't think Ernest is quite right," said Sybil. 
" I know whose daughter Queen Anne was. May I 
answer that question ? " 

" Go on ! " said poor Miss Smith in a hoarse voice, 
and Sybil stood up : — 

The fathers of the city, they sat all night and day, 

For every hour some horseman came with tidings of 

dismay. 
They held a council, standing before the river fate ; 
Short time was there, ye well may guess, for musing or 

debate. 
Out spoke the consul roundly, " The bridge must 

straight go down, 
For since Janiculum is lost, nought else can save the 

town." (5) 

" Since you have repeated a verse of poetry with 
such a word in it as Janiculum, you will kindly write 
the meaning of it," interrupted Miss Smith. She was 
quite sure by now that all. her pupils were bewitched. 

"■ I haven't been repeating poetry, have I ? " asked 
Sybil in a somewhat frightened voice. " What have 
I said ? " 






THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 69 

" That you must tell me afterwards," replied Miss 
Smith. " Or stay, Arthur, from which poem did 
Sybil repeat that part of a verse ? " 

" I don't know the name of the poem, but I'll finish 
the verse, if I may," and he added : — 

... All the world's a stage. 
All the men and women merely players ; 
They have their exits and their entrances ; 
And one man in his time plays many parts. 
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant, 
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms, 
And then ... (6) 

" That is a totally different poem," interrupted Miss 
Smith. " Oh my poor head, my poor head ! This is 
supposed to be a history lesson, and you are all quoting 
different poetry. Isn't there anyone not bewitched 
amongst you ? Lily, don't you know whose daughter 
Queen Anne was ? " 

' Yes, Miss Smith," said Lily meekly, and added : — 

For he said " Fight on ! Fight on ! " 

Tho' his vessel was all but a wreck ; 

And it chanced that, when half of the short summer 

night was gone, 
With a grisly wound to be drest he had left the deck, 
But a bullet struck him that was dressing it suddenly 

dead, 
And himself he was wounded in the side and the head ; 
And he said : " Fight on ! Fight on ! " (7) 

1 You might tell me what you know about poetry, 
since apparently you know nothing about Queen Anne," 
said Miss Smith to Sydney. 

" I know quite a lot about Queen Anne," said Sydney 
indignantly. " I know she's dead, and I know : 



70 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

But come, thou goddess fair and free, 
In heaven yclept Euphrosyne, 
And by men heart-easing mirth ; 
Whom lovely Venus at a birth, 
With two sister . . ." (8) 

" Somebody has made another blot," interrupted Miss 
Smith, starting up from her seat. 

As a matter of fact Puck was so pleased with the 
result of his bewitching he ventured to come from the 
inkwell and dance about on the blotting paper. If 
Miss Smith had not been so bewildered she would have 
seen the sprite before he hid inside her spectacle-case, 
but the schoolmistress just pointed to Betty and said 
in a hollow voice : "Go on." And Betty went on : 

Under the spreading chestnut tree 
The village smithy stands ; 
The smith a mighty man is he 
With large and sinewy hands ; 
And the muscles of his brawny arms 
Are as strong as iron bands. (9) 

"What has he to do with Queen Anne?" asked 
Paul. " I know whose daughter Queen Anne is — was. 
May I tell you, Miss Smith ? " 

" I expect you are magicked like the rest, but if you 
want to recite " 

" I don't, Miss Smith. I know all about Queen Anne 
and William the Conqueror, too," and Paul said : 

For oft, when on my couch I lie, 
In vacant or in pensive mood, 
They flash upon that inward eye 
Which is the bliss of solitude ; 
And then my heart with pleasure fills, 
And dances with the daffodils. (10) 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 71 

" Very nicely recited," said Miss Smith, standing up 
and peering round. " I'm sure I caught sight of a 
fairy's wings just now." 

The children nudged each other, and Alice said : " I 
think you must be bewitched too, Miss Smith. We have 
told you such a lot about history, and you keep on 
saying we are reciting. May I tell you about the little 
princes in the Tower ? " And not waiting for Miss 
Smith's reply, Alice repeated : — 

Oh ! my offence is rank, it smells to Heaven ! 
It hath the primal, elder curse upon't ; 
A brother's murder ! Pray can I not : 
Though inclination be as sharp as will 
My stronger guilt defeats my strong intent ; 
And like a man to double business bound, 
I stand in pause where I shall first begin — 
And both neglect. (11) 

" Something seems wrong, Billie. I don't seem to 
have the story of the Princes in the Tower quite right. 
Tell me where I have gone wrong ! " 

Billie laughed and said : " You are quite wrong. The 
rest of the story goes like this : — 

When old age shall this generation waste, 

Thou shalt remain, in midst of other woe 

Than ours, a friend to man, to whom they sayst 

' Beauty is truth, truth beauty ' that is all 

Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know." (12) 

"I see it ! " Miss Smith leaned on the desk and 
shut her spectacle-case with a click. "It is a fairy, 
and what is more it is that naughty sprite, Puck. Did 
you bewitch all my pupils ? " And Miss Smith laid 
the spectacle-case to her ear. 



72 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

Puck chuckled. " Well — I did, and they will remain 
bewitched for a whole week. All their lessons will 
be turned upside down, and I shall have such fun with 
them." 

" Oh, will you," said Miss Smith grimly. " Then if 
you bewitch my children, I shall keep you shut up in 
my spectacle-case for the whole week. As a matter of 
fact it is a fairy case, and you can't get out of it much 
as you may want to." 

The tables were changed. Puck found that his 
bewitching of people was not going to be as nice as he 
thought. 

" Oh, please let me out," he cried. 

" When you have unbewitched my pupils, not 
before," said Miss Smith. 

" Where can I go then ? " asked the sprite. " Queen 
Mab says I'm to stay here for a week." 

" So you may if you promise to be good, and for a 
mortal punishment you will have to write out the whole 
of the poems you made my children recite, together 
with their authors." 

" It's very hard," said our little friend. " But I 
promise I'll be good, and do as you wish." Miss Smith 
opened her spectacle-case, and out flew the little fairy. 
He hovered over the children, and then he alighted on 
Billie's head. 

" I'll tell you tfie names of the poems, if you'll finish 
the verses," he said. 

" The other way round," laughed Miss Smith. 
" You finish the verses, and the children shall say the 
names of the poems, otherwise back into the spectacle- 
case you go." 

Puck sighed, but it was so. Can you guess the names 
of the poems and authors ? 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF^ENTERTAINING 73 
Answers. 



I. 


How we brought th 


e 




good news to Ghent. (Browning) 


2. 


Elegy. 


(Gray) 


3- 


Recessional. 


(Kipling) 


4- 


Ode to a Skylark. 


(Shelley) 


5- 


Horatius. 


(Macaulay) 


6. 


As You Like It. 


(Shakespeare) 


7- 


The Revenge. 


(Tennyson) 


8. 


L'allegro. 


(Milton) 


9- 


The Village Blacksmith. (Long- 






fellow) 


10. 


Daffodils. 


(Wordsworth) 


11. 


Hamlet. 


(Shakespeare) 


12. 


Ode on a Grecian Urn. (Keats) 



Note. — With very little alteration the story can be 
used as a playlet — a prologue with Queen Mab banishing 
Puck, then the schoolroom with twelve children, Miss 
Smith and Puck. The dialogue requires very little 
adapting. Puck, of course, cannot be captured inside 
a spectacle-case, but could be tied to a chair by Miss 
Smith when he was not on the alert. The audience 
would be given cards, and asked to write the quotations 
on them. Funds for Guide and Scout and other enter- 
tainments could be easily raised this way. 

9. NONSENSE STORY COMPETITIONS. 

We all know and love Alice in Wonderland, the 
greatest " nonsense " book in the world, and while 
no one can hope to write another such book, one can 
make up a very amusing nonsense story. Any story 
can be taken, and every tenth noun, say, can be sub- 
stituted by opening the dictionary at random and 
picking out the first noun in the first column on the 



74 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

right-hand page. Much amusement can be caused by 
one person reading the story, and the others in turn 
picking out the vowels. However, for those players 
who like their stories prepared for them, here is an 
original story with thirty nouns omitted, and a list of 
thirty nouns given at the top to fill these blanks. 
These are taken haphazard from the dictionary. As a 
fireside game story, one person should read the story, 
pausing at the blanks, while the others should have 
each a list of the words, which as they are inserted should 
be crossed off by all. No word should be used twice, 
but where the words are plural, they may be used as 
singular and vice versa, if this makes the story read 
better. Players should insert words in turn, and the 
results are sure to be most amusing. 



List of words : 






Almonds 


Cheese 


Plums 


Aniseed 


Chemist Shop 


Roses 


Asbestos Stoves 


Donkey 


Railway Wagon 


Baby Socks 


Elephant 


Spring Onions 


Battledore 


Grasshopper 


Split Peas 


Builder 


Grass 


Sugar 


Butcher 


Grocer 


Strong Tea 


Buttered Beans 


Gold Rings 


Train 


Cabbage 


Medals 


Train Driver 


Cartwheels 


Poppies 


Watercress 



Here is the story : — 



Fairycake. 

Penelope sat in her room thinking over the lovely 
time she had had with the fairies. 

" I wish I could have it again," she said, as she 
thought of the soft green grass in the fairy ring and the 
beautiful flowers. 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 75 

" Hallo ! Hallo ! Hallo ! " Penelope looked up. 

" Hallo ! " said the voice again. " Coming along 
with me to Fairyland again ? " 

" Rather," said Penelope. " But who are you ? " 

" I'm Prudence the Pixie. I've come to take you 
with me to buy the ingredients for a cake. Are you 
ready ? If so, we will go." 

Of course, Penelope was ready. She watched the 
little lady dressed in green give a whistle, and up came 
a carriage which flew through the open window. You 
think it was a carriage with horses ? Oh, dear me, no ! 
It was the (1) of an (2) scooped out and lined with 
(3) and (4) drawing it were two huge (5), and they were 
eating (6). 

' What a wonderful carriage ! " exclaimed Penelope. 

" Jump in ! " said Prudence, and off they started. 
It was wonderfully comfortable inside. 

" Here is the first stop," said Prudence. " I want 
to buy some (7) for our cake." She helped Penelope 
out of the carriage and then knocked at the door of 
a (8). 

The door was opened by a sleepy-looking (9), who 
seemed to wake up when Prudence smiled. 

" Come inside," he said. " I have some (10) for 
you and some (11)." 

" Thank you very much," said Prudence. u Now 
we will go to the second shop. This is the (12)." 

Here they bought some (13) and some (14), which 
took up a lot of room in the carriage. 

" Now for the (15)," said Prudence. " There you 
can buy (16). No cake is complete without these." 

They soon arrived at number (15), where Prudence 
asked for some (16) and was given in addition some (17). 

(18) was very pleased to see them, and said " Help 
yourselves, my dears, help yourselves." And so 



76 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

Prudence and Penelope gathered their arms full of 
{19) and (20). 

The man bowed them politely into the carriage and 
they drove to the next stop. This was the (21). 

" He's a special friend of mine," whispered Prudence. 
■ ' I shall buy a lot of things here. Please may we 
have some (22) for a fairy cake, and some of your 
best (23)." 

" Of course, ma'am, I'm delighted to serve you." 

Prudence also bought (24), and, as they were coming 
out of the shop, they met (25). 

"Good-day," he said. " I have just bought a (26) 
for my grandmother." 

" She will like that very much," said Prudence. " I 
am making a cake. I have nearly everything, but I 
must just buy some (27) for the top of it." 

The carriage now stopped outside the (28). " Here 
I must buy a pound of (29) and then we will go home and 
bake the cake." 

On the way back Prudence saw some (30), and this 
was the last thing she bought. They found no one in 
the kitchen, so the fairy and the little girl made and 
baked the cake. It smelt delicious. Penelope covered 
it over, and carried it into the dining-room, where all 
the rest of the family was at tea. 

" Hallo, Penny, what have you there ? Let's have 
a look," her brother Jim rose from his seat. 

■' It's a cake from fairyland for Mother." 

" Fairyland ! Say, Mother, do take the cover off 
quick." 

Mother did so, and placed the lovely cake on the 
table. " What has it in it, Penny, to make it smell so 
nice ? " 

" Guess," said Penelope smiling. " I had some 
lovely adventures buying the things." 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 77 

Jim took a good bit, and a smile spread over his face. 
" Jolly good ! I've never tasted another like it " — 
and I don't suppose he will again ! 



10. A SEASIDE COMPETITION. 

This competition .should be typed out on several 
pieces of paper and given simultaneously to the players, 
who should all start at once. Only a few minutes 
should be given for it. Instead of words dealing with 
the seaside, the number in which the letter comes in 
the alphabet is given. Some words can be easily 
guessed, but others have to be worked out. The one 
who finishes placing the correct words over the letters 
wins the game. 

The Story. 

Paul, John and Joan were at the 19-5-1-19-9-4-5. 
They were collecting 19-8-5-12-12-19. But instead of 
finding these they found 19-8-18-9-13-16-19. These 
they put in a 16-1-9-12. 

" We will cook them when we get back 
home," said Joan. Then they started to build 
19-1-14-4 3-1-19-20-12-5-19. But the children became 
so interested in watching some 19-20-1-18-6-9-19-8 
that they forgot all about the 20-9-4-5. They tried to 
build a wall of 16-5-2-2-12-5-19 to keep the 19-5-1 
out, but it was no good. It was with great difficulty 
they managed to retrieve their 19-16-1-4-5-19 and some 
19-5-1-23-5-5-4 they had collected. Later on in the 
day John caught a 3- 18- 1-2. 

" If it wasn't so small I would have it for my tea/' 
he said. They then watched the 19-20-5-1-13-5-18-19 
and went for a 19-1-9-12. They had a 2-1-20-8-5 and 
a 16-1-4-4-12-5 and then ate 9-3-5-3-18-5-1-13. Paul 



78 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

found a 12-9-13-16-5-20, but he threw it away again. 
This is what they did one morning of their 
8-15-12-9-4-1-15-19. Perhaps some day I will tell you 
what they did one afternoon. 

Answers — Seaside, shells, shrimps, pail, sandcastles, 
starfish, tide, pebbles, sea, spades, seaweed, crab, 
steamers, sail, bathe, paddle, icecream, limpet, holidays. 



PLAYS 







PLAYS 

Play Number One. (By courtesy of the Editor of 
Bubbles.) 

CHRISTMAS PRESENTS. 

Characters. — Father, Mother, and three children. 
Nurse. Cook. Imp. Queen of the Fairies. Fairies, 
not less than seven, more if desired. 

Notes. — The play is quite easy for the children to act 
without any grown-up help. If father and mother 
and the two maids can be dressed as " grown-ups " 
it will certainly give more character to the play. Imp 
dressed somewhat differently from the ordinary fairies, 
who should, if possible, be dressed all alike — the Queen's 
dress being somewhat more elaborate than the others. 
For properties — only those mentioned in the play are 
required, and they can be found in any household. 
Should any of the " presents " not be found convenient 
it is quite easy to substitute others. As to the music 
— that must be left to the pianist in charge, but a 
suggestion might be useful — Schubert's Moments 
Musicals makes a charming dance, also any good waltz 
tune, or if preferred country dances, such as those 
collected by the late Cecil Sharp will be appreciated by 
the audience. 

Scene. — An ordinary sitting-room with festoons of 
Christmas trimmings, such as holly, paper chains, etc. 
F 81 



82 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

A table stands to one side, while there are doors or 
exits made to look like doors, both right and left. On 
the table are several packages all tied up and labelled. 
When the curtain goes up the stage is empty. Soft 
music is played and peeping from under the tablecloth 
is the Imp. She looks all round and sees the coast is 
clear, then she comes from under the table and dances, 
touching the different objects about the room. As the 
dance finishes she is at the table examining the parcels. 

Imp (discovered on stage, leaning over the presents, 
picks up one and reads) : "To dear Mummy from Cecil 
and Connie." (Picks up another.) " To dear old Dad 
from the three of us." (Looks at another.) " To Cec 
from Mums and Dads." (Leaves presents and comes to 
centre of stage.) I say, what a lot of presents there 
are here. I haven't seen so many since I was banished 
from Fairyland for spilling cream all down Queen Mab's 
back. Some day I suppose I shall go back there, but 
meanwhile I have to torment the people on earth. It 
was fun pouring that cream down Queen Mab's back. 
I stood behind her, and let it trickle, trickle, ever so 
slowly. I would like to do the same for these people 
who have so many presents, but the Queen when she 
banished me took away my cloak of invisibility, and 
now I can always be seen. (Moves towards the table 
again.) I would like to play a prank though — I 
wonder what I could do. (She touches the presents 
and thinks. Then she claps her hands together.) I 
know : I will bewitch the presents. I can still do that. 
(She waves her hands over the presents, while soft music 
is heard. Then outside the room are voices, and the Imp 
quickly hides behind the curtains or an armchair, some- 
where where she can be seen by the audience, but not by 
the people on the stage. Enter Father, Mother, Cecil, 



— 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 83 

Connie and Jane, followed by Cook and Nurse. They 
greet one another, and the children run towards the table. 
Soft music all the time.) 

Cecil : Here is your present, Mummy. Oh, what a 
beautiful parcel mine is ! 

Connie : I'm sure mine is a doll : it feels just like 
one. 

Jane : I know mine is an elephant, 'cos I asked Santa 
Claus to bring me one. 

Mother (taking up her parcel and feeling it) : I 
wonder what's in mine. Here is your parcel, Nurse. 
I think it is something you want. 

Nurse : Thank you, ma'am, I'm sure I shall like 
whatever you give me. 

Father : Here, Cook, is something you ought to 
have. I know you've been wanting it for years. It 
will give you a wonderful amount of information about 
things you don't know. 

Cook : Thank you, sir. I'm afraid I don't know 
much except about cooking, and no one can teach me 
anything about that! 

Cecil : May we undo our parcels, please. 

Connie (starting to untie the string) : I'm so excited. 

Jane : Me too. 

Mother (laughing) : This is very bad grammar. 
Never mind, we will all undo our parcels together — 
one, two, three 

(All undo their parcels, while the Imp is cutting capers 
unseen by players. Soft music all the while.) 

(All parcels undone — there is a long gasp of " Oh ! '* 
and each speaks with disappointment in their voice.) 






84 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

Mother : Someone has sent me a box of hairpins, 
and I've bobbed hair. It is very kind of you children 
to think of a Christmas present for me, but I'm afraid 
you have only wasted your money. 

Father : This can't be meant for me, though it is 
properly addressed. Who has been buying a gold brace- 
let ? (He holds it up, but no one takes any notice of him, 
they are all too busy with their own parcels.) 

Cecil : I wanted soldiers and someone has given me 

a DICTIONARY — Ugh ! 

Connie : Look what was inside all that paper — a 
toothbrush ! That isn't a present ! 

Jane (nearly crying) : And inside mine was a bar of 
soap. I do call it a horrid present, boo-hoo. 

Nurse (in a cold voice) : Thank you for your present, 
ma'am. A packet of pins is always useful. 

Cook (putting her parcel on the table with a thud t 
and speaking angrily) : So you thought I couldn't 
cook vegetables, sir. You have put up with me for a 
good long time and never said a word. And now you 
give me a book on how to cook them, as a Christmas 
present. I shan't cook the dinner ! I shall go and pack 
my bag at once. (She moves towards the door in a 
■furious temper. Here she is met by the Queen of the 
Fairies, who waves her back. Soft music.) 

Queen : I am very sorry for this upset on Christmas 
morning, but I have arrived in time to prevent Cook 
from leaving and that is something. A little bird was 
passing and told me the Imp had bewitched all your 
presents, so I have hurried along and have brought you 
the proper ones. (She waves her wand, and fairies 
run into the room, holding parcels which they give to the 
household.) I have also come to punish the Imp for 



— 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 85 

making everyone disagreeable on Christmas Day. 
Fairies, seize the Imp. 

(They do so, but she leads them a dance before she is 
caught. If possible this should be a rehearsed dance, 
and could be made to be very pretty. They catch her at 
last, and she is brought before the Queen.) 

Queen : What shall I do to her ? 

Cecil (opening his parcel) : I have my soldiers, 
hooray ! 

Connie : What • a beautiful doll ! Just what I 
wanted ! Look at its glorious hair. 

Jane (excitedly) : I have an elephant ! I have an 
elephant ! I wish it were a real one, still, it's an 
elephant ! 

Mother : Thank you for the beautiful shingle comb ! 
It's just what I wanted ! 

Father : And thank you for the penwiper. My pen 
always wants wiping, and I never can find anything to 
wipe it on. I always have to use my handkerchief. 

Mother : Oh, Father, for shame ! 

Nurse : I must say I couldn't have had anything I 
like better, ma'am, than this woollen scarf. I shall 
keep it for ever and ever. 

Father : It will wear out. Well, Cook, what do you 
think of your present ? 

Cook : I'm so happy I could cry. I've always longed 
to know how to make a rock garden in the back kitchen, 
and now I shall be able to do it. Boo-hoo. 

Queen (who has been looking on with her Fairies, 
some of whom have been holding the Imp) : What am I 
to do with the Imp ? It is for you to say. 



86 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

Chorus : Oh, let her go free, because it is Christmas 
Day, and we all have the presents we like. But she 
must promise never to change anybody's presents again 
on Christmas Day. 

Queen : You hear what they say, Imp ? Do you 
promise ? 

Imp : Yes, but on one condition. 

Queen : And that is ? 

Imp : We all dance a merry dance together. 

(Dance music, and the curtain falls on a pretty country 
dance.) 



— 



Play Number Two. 

IF THE GUINEA-PIG HAD A TAIL. 
A Dancing Playlet. 

Characters. 

Puck: Traditional dress of green. Most girls and 
bovs have a green tunic and knickers. 

Farmer : More amusing if he wears a bowler hat and 
has a moustache that waggles. 

Wife: If she can get some old-fashioned grown-up 
clothes so much the better. 

Dancers, say four : Should be dressed in white, or 
a uniform colour. 

Drillers, say four : Gym dresses uniform with their 
ropes or dumbbells. 

Fairies, any number : Can wear the traditional fairy 
dress with tinsel crowns. Tinsel is very cheap to buy, 
but most houses have some. Most homes, too, have 
coloured scarves, but great care must be taken to see 
the colours blend, otherwise the harmony of the dance 
will be broken. 

Child : Should be small, and dressed to look as young 
as possible. 

Music. — Choose dances of which the music is easy 
to obtain. 

Scene. — Any room with chairs and a table to one side. 
One chair should be an armchair with a flounce coming 
down to the floor. Puck enters, to the sound of soft 

87 



88 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

music, and does a little dance, putting her fingers to her 
lips every now and then. The stage, if possible, should 
be in semi-darkness. 

Puck (stopping in the middle of the stage and glancing 
round) : This looks quite a nice home. I wonder if 
I could bewitch anyone or anything. I really feel so 
full of mischief I must do something. (She turns a 
somersault.) Hark ! (Outside the door there is the 
sound of slow footsteps.) I must hide, and perhaps I 
can think of a plan to get rid of this dreadful mischievous 
feeling I have. (She looks around and sees the armchair, 
quickly she scrambles under it.) 

(Enter Farmer Giles and his wife. They are quarrel- 
ling.) 

Farmer : I tells you, that if you holds a guinea-pig 
up by its tail, its eyes will fall out. 

Wife (slapping him on the back) : I tells you they 
don't. 

Farmer (sitting down in the armchair heavily) : I 
tells you they do, and if you don't believe me, just you 
ask the first person who comes into this room. 

Wife (going over to the table and putting down a 
basket she has been carrying) : All right ! (She sits 
on another chair, and they wait. Soft music.) 

(Puck puts her head from under the flounce and makes 
a grimace.) 

Puck (aside) : This is the silliest house I have been 
to yet. But I have a plan ready. Wait ! (Retires 
under chair.) 

(Knock outside the door. Farmer and wife mildly 
excited.) 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 89 

Farmer and Wife : Come in ! 

(Door opens and in comes a small child carrying a 
toy. She looks at the Farmer and wife, who look at 
each other.) 

Farmer : Go on, you ask it. 

Wife (indignantly) : It indeed ! It's a she. Child, 
have you ever seen a guinea-pig ? 

Child : A guinea-pig ? What is that ? Something 
to eat ? 

Wife : A guinea-pig is something you hold by its 
tail, and its eyes fall out. 

Child : No, I have never seen a guinea-pig, but I 
would like to. 

(Noise outside door. Three or four children enter dressed 
in muslin frocks, and do a dance to music. The farmer 
and his wife look at them, and make impatient gestures 
for them to finish. Puck crawls from behind the flounce 
and makes gestures of dancing. She is not seen by any of 
the players. The child looks on stolidly and sucks its 
thumb. Dance comes to an end, and one of the dancers 
comes forward.) 

Dancer : What do you think of the dance we are 
going to do on Wednesday at the village fete ? We 
thought you might like to see it first, so we just dropped 
in. 

Wife : Very pretty, but what we want to know 

Farmer (interrupting) : What we want to know — 
Child (interrupting) : What they want to know — 
Puck (interrupting and disappearing under the chair) : 

What they want to know is 

Farmer (turning round quickly) : Who spoke ? 



go THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

Wife : I thought someone did, but I must have been 
mistaken. What we want to know is, if you hold a 
guinea-pig up by its tail will its eyes fall out ? I says 
they won't. 

Farmer : And I says they will. 

Dancers (in chorus) : We don't know. 

(The farmer and his wife make a gesture of despair. 
The child wanders over to the armchair and sits in it. 
Outside the door are more voices, and in come four more 
children. They have skipping ropes — if the room is 
large enough — or dumbbells, and go through some physical 
drill to music. The farmer walks up and down the 
stage impatiently and every now and then knocks against 
his wife, who is just as impatient. This drill over, the 
children turn to the farmer and his wife.) 

Driller : We have just won a prize for the best 
drilling, and we thought you would like to see it. 
(Hands round prize book or cup.) 

Farmer (examining it) : All very nice, very nice 
indeed, but what we want to know 

Wife (interrupting him) : Yes, what we want to 
know 

Puck (springing up from under the chair, and taking 
the middle of the stage, to the great astonishment of every- 
one) : Yes, what we want to know is — if you hold a 
guinea-pig up by its tail, does its eyes fall out ? It's 
a great joke, because a guinea-pig hasn't any tail ! 
(Puck laughs, the others all look at each other, then the 
farmer and his wife shake hands.) 

Farmer : And nor it has ! Well, I never thought o' 
that ! It's a grand joke. (He roars with laughter, 
while Puck pats him on the back.) 

Puck : They call me the Imp of Mischief ; that may 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 91 

be, but I'm going to show you some dancing. (She 
claps her hands four times. Fairies spring from every- 
where — under the table, under the chair, behind the cur- 
tains — from anywhere they could be hidden before the 
curtain went up. They dance round Puck. A scarf 
dance with many coloured scarves would be very pretty. 
The others look and applaud.) 

Puck (at end of dance) : Now all together. (She seizes 
hold of the farmer, while the fairies and the children 
intermingle. The child sits stolidly in the armchair 
all the while, until the dance is coming to an end, then she 
advances to the middle of the stage and does a series of 
somersaults or steps.) 

Curtain. 



I 



Play Number Three, 

THE BEWITCHED BOWL. 
A Dancing Sketch in One Act. 

Characters. — Elfie and Fifi (sisters). Bess, Jennie, 
Cissie, Maggie and Alice (friends of the above) and 
others as wished. The Witch. The children can wear 
ordinary clothes. An old cloak and a hump will be 
all that are required for the Witch. 

Scene. — A kitchen with a dresser full of pots and pans 
and tins and bags. An ordinary table will answer 
the same purpose, if placed at the back of the stage. 
A large table to one side of the stage with a bowl on 
it, with spoons lying beside it and ingredients for cake. 
Other furniture as wished. The stage appears to be 
empty when the curtain goes up, but Elfie comes from 
behind a curtain or door and peeps cautiously around. 

(Soft music all the time.) 

Elfie (looking round) : Hush ! I'm going to have 
some fun to-day. Mother has told us we can make 
some cakes, and I'm going to put some pepper in them. 
It will be fun. I wonder if I can find the pepper-pot. 
(Runs round and looks on the dresser, upsetting a bag 
of flour, which she tries to scoop up with one of the spoons. 
Footsteps are heard outside and Elfie hastily retreats 
under the table.) 

(Enter Fifi. She looks around, and seeing no one, 
goes up to the table and peeps into the bowl.) 

92 



— 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 93 

Fifi : This is good ! I never thought I should be 
the first in the kitchen. Mother has said we might 
make some cakes. I've always longed to make cakes, 
and as I'm the first one here, I'm going to start. Oh ! 
(seeing the flour lying on the floor.) Whoever has done 
that ? It must be that kitten of ours. Now we 
shan't be able to make any. I must tell the others. 
(Exit.) 

(Elfie is just coming from under the table when the 
old Witch enters, chuckling. Elfie at once hides again.) 

Witch (chuckling) : This is just what I wanted to 
happen. I have long made up my mind to bewitch 
some mortals, and at last I shall be able to do it. (She 
examines the basin, then glances towards the dresser.) 
Ah ha ! They are making cakes ! I will bewitch 
them. (Pauses and thinks.) Now, how can I do it ? 
No, I will bewitch the bowl instead. Everybody who 
touches the bowl will begin to dance, and will not stop 
dancing until one of the mortals says the word " Carrot." 
(The Witch does a few steps of dancing herself.) That 
will be never, because no mortal is here to hear my spell. 
(She waves her hand over the basin.) Wink wonk, 
pinky po. Japanese eggs. (She does a grand flourish 
and disappears.) 

(Elfie comes from her hiding-place and stands looking 
at the bowl.) 

Elfie : Oh, no, I'm not going to touch you ! The 
Witch little thought I was hiding under the table. I'm 
going to watch the others, and see whether they really 
are bewitched. Here they come ! 

(Elfie goes over to the dresser and begins touching the 
different things. Enter half a dozen children, led by 



94 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

Fiji with a bag of flour in her hands. Fiji is talking 
excitedly.) 

Fifi : What a good thing it was that I discovered 
the one bag of flour was broken ! And isn't it lucky 
that Mother had another in the store-cupboard ? Now 
we can get to work. Hallo, Elfie ! Did you upset 
that bag of flour ? Never mind ! Here's another. 
I'm going to start. You, Alice, can bring me the 
raisins : you, Bess, the sugar ; you, Jennie, the milk : 
you, Cissie, the baking powder, and you, Maggie, can 
bring me some water. I don't know what you can do, 
Elfie. 

Elfie : Don't you bother about me, I'll watch. (She 
leans against the table, while Fifi goes towards the bowl. 
The others follow her, and Fifi pours some flour into it. 
She touches the sides of the bowl with her hands, and 
immediately begins to dance. She can't stop dancing. 
The others stare at her in amazement.) 

Fifi : I can't stop dancing. I must dance. Alice, 
you carry on. My dancing fit will soon be over. (She 
comes to the front of the stage, dancing a slow measure, 
curtseying, etc. Alice seizes the spoon, drops the raisins 
into the mixture, puts one hand on the bowl and immedi- 
ately begins to dance. Elfie is holding her sides and 
laughing. Alice's dance should be different from Fifi's, 
but should harmonize.) 

Alice : I can't stop dancing. Do finish the cake, 
Bess. (She follows Fifi round the stage. Bess seizes 
the sugar and drops it into the cake mixture. She touches 
the side of the bowl as she does so and begins to dance.) 

Bess : I am bewitched. (Catching sight of Elfie 
laughing.) What have you done ? My feet won't 
stand still. Jenny, you finish the cake. Elfie has 
bewitched me. 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 95 

Elfie : Indeed I have not, but I know who has. I 
want to see what happens to Jenny, Cissie and Maggie, 
and then I'll unbewitch you. 

Jenny (putting her hand on the side of the bowl and 
pouring the milk into it, at the same time her feet begin 
to move) : Why aren't you bewitched as well ? Oh 
dear, I can't keep still now. Someone else must finish 
the cake. Do, please, Elfie, unmagic us at once ! 

(Elfie laughs merrily, as Cissie and Maggie snatch the 
baking powder and a jug of water and seize hold of the 
bowl. They immediately begin to dance, and the contents 
of it become upset (or not, as wished). Elfie is roaring 
with laughter. The others are all dancing. One could 
be doing a Highland fling, another a minuet, another an 
Irish jig, two could join together and do a fox-trot, while 
the sixth could do a Russian or a skirt dance.) 

Elfie : I'll tell you who bewitched you now. It 
was an old witch and I heard her say that if I repeated 
a certain word, you would all stop dancing. 

All : Oh, do say the word, quickly, please. 

Elfie : I guess you must be pretty tired of dancing, 
so I'll say it. Onions! 

(They all dance harder than ever, and Elfie looks first 
bewildered, then frightened.) 

Elfie : Oh dear ! I've forgotten the word, and now 
you will have to dance for ever. 

(The others all make a run at her, still dancing and 
round her. In doing so, it should be clearly shown to 
the audience that Elfie by mistake touches the bowl. 
Immediately she begins to dance. Now they can all do the 
same dance. Elfie should certainly be the most prominent 
dancer. They dance, say, for five minutes. Then 



96 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

Elfie, still dancing, comes to the front of the stage. The 
Witch creeps in at the back and stands there laughing.) 

Elfie : I now can say the magic word, 
It is one we have often heard. 
If you should forget, just think of parrot, 
And you'll remember the word is carrot. 

(They all stop dancing and join hands and bow to the 
audience.) 

Curtain. 



Play Number Four. 

HOW THE BLUEBIRD WAS FOUND. 

(A Brownie play, reprinted from The Guide. This 
play in its original form was composed by me for my 
Company of Guides, 1913.) 

Scene. — The nursery of a rich little girl. The pro- 
perties are toys, table, chair or two. Some food is 
on the table. 

Characters. — Hazel Green, rich little girl. The 
Brownies' Fairy. Poor little girls. Quarrelsome little 
girls. Cruel little girls. Perseverance. Courage. 
Cheery Heart. Good Nature. Help Others. Thrift. 
Spend Wisely. Sloth. Brownies. Imp of Mischief. 

Scene opens with Hazel Green, a little girl of nine, 
sitting at the table, right. Another chair, left. Table 
covered with toys, etc. Toys on floor. One side of 
table has a loaf of bread and some cut bread and 
butter. Rest of the stage clear. 

Hazel has a discontented look on her face. She 
takes up one toy and throws it down, then she takes 
up a book and flings it so that its back is broken. 
Finally she flops limply into a chair. 

Hazel : I hate everything ! I hate everybody . 

They're all unkind to me ! They tell me I've got 

everything a little girl can want, and yet they won't 

give me the one thing I wish for. (She takes up a doll 

G 97 



98 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

and throws it down.) I hate you ! You silly-faced 
thing ! Why don't you talk ? I'm going to have that 
bird. I will ! I will ! (She stands up and clenches 
her fists. From the left and at back of stage enters the 
Fairy. She stops still and listens.) The man in the 
shop said it couldn't be bought. It had to be won. 
Isn't that silly ! Money can buy everything, but he 
said it wouldn't buy that, so I asked him how to win 
it, and he said I couldn't win it as I was. If I can't 
win it, I'll steal it. I will have that bird ! " 

Fairy (coming forward) : What bird is it that you 
want, little one ? (Hazel starts, and looks her up and 
down.) 

Hazel : What do you want here ? Who are you ? 
And why have you got all those funny things on your 
arm, and why do you carry a wand ? 

Fairy : I'm the Brownies' Fairy. 

Hazel : Brownies ! Who are they ? 

Fairy : They are little mortals like yourself. What 
is it that you want ? 

Hazel (remembering her grievance) : I want a blue- 
bird. There's one in a shop, and the man there says 
I can't buy it. It must be won, and he said I never 
could win it until I was different. But I'm going to 
have it ! It's so pretty, with blue feathers, and a perky 
little face, and it sings all day long. When I asked 
my Daddy he said he couldn't buy it with all his riches, 
and so did my Mummy. I hate them both ! (Bursts 
into tears.) I want that bluebird ! (Sits down.) 

Fairy : If you hate anyone you won't get the blue- 
bird. Now supposing I help you get it. 

Hazel (jumping up and drying her eyes) : Will you ? 
fihe catches hold of the Fairy's hands.) Tell me how. 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 99 

Fairy : It's difficult — very difficult. But I'll giv 
you your chance to win it. (Waves wand and goes t 
back of stage. Little girl in rags enters right. Sees the 
bread and takes hold of it. Begins eating.) 

Hazel (stepping towards her) : Hi, little girl, what do 
you mean by eating my bread ? Put it back at once. 
(Stamps foot.) You're not even tidy. (Snatches the 
bread out of little girl's hand. Little girl begins to cry. 
Fairy steps forward.) 

Fairy : Are you hungry, little ragged girl ? 

L.R.G. : Yes, very. I've had nothing to eat for 
two whole days. 

Hazel (in amazement) : Two whole days ! How 
dreadful ! Here, take this ! (Gives her some of the 
bread and butter. Outside a bird begins to sing. Little 
ragged girl goes off munching and happy. Hazel turns 
to fairy, who has advanced.) But I've nothing to eat 
myself. 

Fairy : Are you hungry ? 

Hazel : No. 

Fairy : Then why grudge it to another ? If you 
wanted it yourself, why did you give it away ? 

Hazel (hanging her head) : I don't know. 

(Enter to the sound of soft music, left, Imp of Mischief. 
She dances round, pulls toys to bits, tears books. Hazel 
tries to catch her, but directly she thinks she has her, she 
escapes. Picks up a favourite doll of Hazel's and is going 
to smash it when Hazel throws herself on her.) 

Hazel (to Fairy) : Don't let it smash my doT'y,. 
don't let it. Brownies' Fairy, help me ! 

Fairy : Just now, you were hating your doll. 
Stop ! (Imp stops and Hazel takes hold of the doll and 
begins kissing it.) You're a very lucky little girl to- 



too THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

have so many toys, some little children have none, and 
yet you say you hate them all. (Exit Imp of Mischief, 
dancing, right.) 

(Enter, left, three little ragged girls. They run and 
seize hold of the different toys and begin loving them. 
One takes hold of the favourite doll, and Hazel steps 
forward to stop her. The child clutches it tighter. Hazel 
tries to get it from her.) 

Hazel (stopping suddenly) : I can get another, and 
perhaps she can't. Here, little girl, you can take which 
you like. (Child picks up favourite doll, and they all 
go off singing a lullaby. The sound of a bird singing 
is heard in the distance.) 

Fairy : Do you know you are one step nearer 
obtaining the bluebird than you were half an hour 
ago? 

Hazel (delightedly) : Am I ? How nice ! Can I 
have it now ? 

Fairy : No, not yet. You have much to do before 
that can happen. 

Hazel (pouting) : What else must I do ? 

Fairy : First of all you must help everyone. You 
have begun doing so by giving away your food and 
pleasures. Next you must be courteous. See ! 

(Enter three or four girls all quarrelling. As they 
,cross the stage, they hit each other. They exit still 
quarrelling.) 

Hazel (horrified) : I should never be like that. 

Fairy : No ? But just now you were hating every- 
one. 

Hazel : I didn't hate them to their faces, and I 
4on't think I really hate them now. 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 101 

Fairy : That is well. Then you have to be kind to 
animals. (Outside is heard the cry of a dog in pain. 
Two children come on the stage and stand looking into 
the wings. They clap their hands and exclaim, " That's 
right, hit him hard! Well come and help!" Exit. 
Dog's cries die away.) 

Hazel (with her hands over her ears) : I'm never cruel 
to animals, so I don't want to be told that. 

Fairy : But you were hitting your dolls just now. 

Hazel : They don't feel. 

Fairy : That is true. But if you hit things that 
can't feel, you are just as likely to hit those that can. 

Hazel (in a tearful voice) : I want that bird so much, 
and I don't think I shall ever get it. 

Fairy : Every time you say that you are one step 
farther away from obtaining it. 

Hazel : Will you help me get it ? 

Fairy : Of course ! That is what I am here for. 

Hazel : Do all Brownies have a bluebird ? 

Fairy : All try for it, and most obtain it. 

Hazel : Can I be a Brownie, and will you show me 
what to do ? 

Fairy : Surely I will ! I've shown you some things 
you mustn't do. Now I'll show you some things you 
must have. See ! (Enter Perseverance.) This is your 
best friend. Without her you will never obtain your 
wishes. Have you never heard that little phrase, " If 
you don't at once succeed, try, try again " ? (Persever- 
ance passes 10 the back of stage. Enter Courage.) Her 
twin sister, and another best friend. With these 'wo 
beside you, you should win the bluebird. No, tnere 
are still more. (Enter Smiling Face, Cheery Heart, 
Good Nature, Help Others, Thrift and Spend Wisely. 



102 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

They take their stand at the back of the stage as the Fairy 
announces their names. From the opposite side Sloth 
enters, creeping in. The eight pounce on her and drag 
her out. They then go back to their places.) 

Hazel : I'm sure I shall never be able to live up to 
all those virtues. 

Perseverance : I shall be here to help you. 

Hazel : Do all Brownies have these good fairies ? 

Fairy : Yes, and they also have the bad ones as 
well, but like you saw just now, the good ones must 
overcome the bad. 

Hazel : Will you let me see the Brownies ? 

Fairy : Brownies appear. 

(Enter Brownies from either side, and take their stand 
in front of the Good Fairies.) 

Fairy : I have brought you a new recruit. (They 
all salute.) Now will you show her how to dance one 
of your dances, and afterwards we will show her how 
to work. 

Chorus : We will. 

Fairy (turning towards audience) : There will be no 
more discontent, wilfulness or attacks of bad temper, 
for Hazel has joined the Brownies, and they have found 
out the secret of obtaining the Bluebird of Happiness. 
Come, let us dance and sing before we start to work ! 

(Country dance and song. Now and then notes of 
a bird singing can be heard.) 

Curtain. 

Notes. — The foregoing play is written for indoor 
acting, but, of course, it could be acted in the open by 
substituting a glen or garden. 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 103 

There is little or no expense attached to acting the 
play. Hazel's dress is one of her own, if possible her 
" best " — this would make a better contrast to that of 
the poor little girls. 

Fairy should be dressed as a Guide. She should be 
very smart and have some badges on her arm. In her 
hand she should have a golden wand. 

Poor little girls' clothes should be as ragged as 
possible. 

Quarrelsome and cruel little girls, ordinary clothes. 

Perseverance should be a Brownie, with " Persever- 
ance " in gold letters on a white ground slung across 
her. She could, of course, be dressed in pale blue if 
special dresses could be obtained, with a sash with the 
virtue across her. 

Other virtues as Perseverance. 

Brownies — uniform. 

Sloth and Imp of Mischief, it would be well to give 
fancy dress to. Sloth could be a torn dress with holey 
stockings, shoes down at the heel, blouse torn, hair 
untidy, dirty face, etc. Imp of Mischief might be 
dressed in green — sateen or casement cloth. It would 
look rather pretty if she were dressed as a pixie. 

Toys, etc., could be borrowed. 

If possible music should be played softly during the 
whole play. Anyway, it should be played while the 
different characters appear. The bird sounds can be 
made on a whistle. Any, country dance would do, 
preferably one with a good chorus song. Play should 
take about twenty to thirty minutes to act. 



Play Number Five. 

THE BEST-MADE PLANS. 
A Humorous Playlet for Girls. 

Characters. — Robina and Anne, sisters, who are 
giving the party. Sylvia, Maud and Floss. As many 
other friends as liked : these do not speak. Jenny. 
The Messenger Girl. Madame Julien. 

No special properties are required. The stage is 
set for a party in a sitting-room. A piano is essential. 
Madame Julien should be a striking girl with a good 
voice, and should be dressed in a smart up-to-date 
evening dress. Robina should be able to play the piano 
well. If she cannot, the dialogue can easily be suited 
to another character. Any song can be sung which is 
popular. Dresses are ordinary party ones, and in 
writing the playlet I had in mind that as many girls 
as wished could take part in it, as the more friends 
there are, the better the party will be. 

Scene. — A room ready for a party — flowers about, 
cakes, etc., on a side table : a piano, chairs and all the 
requirements of a party. Two exits. Robina and 
Anne are just putting the finishing touches to the 
flowers and chairs. 

Robina : I can hardly believe that Madame Julien 
is really coming to entertain our guests. I do think it 

104 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 105 

was sweet of Jenny to ask her, and for Madame Julien 
to write us such a charming note. 

Anne (meditating) : I wonder how Jenny came to 
know such a well-known person. She was awfully 
mysterious about it, and until we said we wished we 
could have heard Madame Julien sing before she went 
to Australia, Jenny never said she knew her. I feel 
quite nervous at entertaining such a person. 

Robina : So do I ! To tell you the honest truth, 
Anne, I almost wish she wasn't coming now. If only 
Jenny could have come too ! 

Anne : It would have helped. I wonder where 
Jenny is going. She didn't tell me. 

Robina : Nor me. There's the bell. (Bell heard to 
ring off. Robina goes to answer it. Voices heard out- 
side. Maud, Sylvia and Floss enter, greet Anne.) 

Maud : So we're the first. I feel terribly on my best 
behaviour at meeting Madame Julien. I have always 
longed to hear her sing. Fancy Jenny knowing her ! 

Sylvia : May I sit down ? (Does so primly.) I 
hope she won't be very standoffish. 

Floss : Oh, deary me, I'm all bubbly inside ! I do 
wish we were the last instead of the first. 

(Bell heard to ring off. Robina goes to answer it, 
and several girls enter, greet Anne, and sit down very 
primly and properly on the chairs grouped round the 
piano. Bell rings again, until there are as many girls 
on the stage as it will hold, or as wished. Anne looks 
round.) 

Anne : We are all here now. I do wish Madame 
Julien would come. 

Maud : Perhaps someone is having a game with 



106 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

you, and has written telling you that Madame Julien 
will come, and she won't really. 

Robina (indignantly) : Who would play such a joke ? 
Besides, the letter is written on her own peculiar note- 
paper. I will show it to you. (Moves towards the table , 
when there is a long ring at the bell. Girls settle themselves 
expectantly. Robina goes to answer the bell.) 

Chorus : Madame Julien ! 

(Enter Madame, who is dressed in very old-fashioned 
clothes, with dark glasses on her nose, and a comical head- 
dress. She is carrying some music. Robina follows 
her looking glum. Girls gasp. Madame sits down on a 
chair and proceeds to take off her galoshes.) 

Madame (speaking in a high falsetto voice) : I believe 
none of you have ever seen me before, eh ? I suppose I 
am not like what you expected me to be, eh ? 

Sylvia (nervously) : We have seen your photos, 
Madame, and you are certainly not like them. 

Madame : For photographic purposes, young lady, I 
have to leave off my glasses, and on the concert plat- 
form, but when I am amongst friends I am always 
myself. Always be yourselves when you can. Kindly 
put my galoshes somewhere easy to find. I cannot 
stay long. 

Anne : It is very good of you to come, Madame. I 
hope you will like the piano. I hope we shall be able 
to accompany you all right. I think Robina is the 
best pianist amongst us. Would you care to explain 
anything to her ? 

Madame : I can sing to anything. I have brought 

a popular song. It is (a song everybody 

knows). You all know the chorus ? 

All : Yes ! 



— 



M 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 107 

Madame : Then I will staxt. (Girls settle themselves 
and look expectant. Madame goes to the piano, clears 
her throat, and does a trill. Robina is nervous and plays 
a wrong note. Madame thumps on the piano top.) 

Madame : You play badly, but no matter. I will 
now sing. (She folds her hands in front of her, and 
Robina plays the " till ready," while the girls lean forward 
in pleasant anticipation. Madame opens her mouth to 
start to sing. Knock at door. Anne goes to open it, 
while Madame makes a gesture of despair. Piano plays 
softly. Anne opens door, and outside is a girl with a 
note which she hands to Anne.) 

Girl : Note for Madame. Found your front door 
open. Might let a burglar in. 

Robina (at the piano, still playing softly) : I'm sure I 
shut that door. 

(Anne gives note to Madame, which she reads aloud.) 

Madame (reading) : Come at once, I want you to 
sign a hundred thousand pound contract, Luigi. 
That man is my agent, young ladies. I must go at 
once. Where are my galoshes ? 

(She hunts around while the girls rise from their seats 
seemingly very upset.) 

Maud (hesitating) : Won't you — would it be too much 
to ask you, Madame, to sing one little song before you 
go — or even the chorus. 

Madame (struggling with her galoshes) : No, no, I have 
not time. I must go and sign my contract. Some 
other time. Where is my music ? Wait, Marie (as 
girl moves towards the door). I will come with you — we 
may have difficulty in getting a taxi. 

Girl : I have one waiting, Madame. 



io8 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

Madame : That is good ! (Outside is the sound of the 
bell, but no one pays much attention to it. Madame is 
now all ready to depart, and is going from girl to girl, 
saying good-bye.) Good-bye, young ladies, good-bye ; 
when I am next in England I shall be pleased to come 
and see you and sing for you, or better still, I will send 
you seats for my next concert. I am sorry I cannot 
stay now, but a contract is waiting to be signed. 
Good-bye. 

(As Madame is talking the door opens slowly, and a tall, 
handsome woman enters. She surveys the scene with 
amusement. Apparently no one has seen her, as all the 
girls are crowded around Madame. At last Robina sees 
her and moves inquiringly towards the door.) 

Stranger : I did ring the bell, but as the door was 
open and no one came, I thought the best thing to do 
was to enter. 

Robina : I cannot think how I left the door open. 
We haven't the pleasure of knowing you, so, perhaps 
you would tell us what we can do for you ? 

Stranger : I am Madame Julien — I have come to 
sing for you. 

Chorus : Madame Julien ! 

Anne : Then who is this ? 

Sylvia : You are certainly like your photos, Madame, 
only better looking. 

Chorus : Who in the world is the other ? (All look 
towards the false Madame, who is backing towards the 
door. The real Madame steps forward and takes hold 
of her arm.) 

Real Madame : I think I can explain — perhaps. I 
happened to hear that a young lady named Jenny was 
spreading the report about that she knew me very well, 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 109 

and that she had asked me to sing at a girl friend's part.y 
As I had never met the young lady named Jenny, I 
made further enquiries, and found that I was singing at 
the party. As I was singing, here I am, and there, 
unless I am much mistaken, is your little friend, Jenny. 
(She pulls off the glasses and headdress from the false 
Madame, and Jenny is revealed, looking very sheepish.) 

Robin a : Oh, Jenny, you little humbug ! (Girls all 
make a rush at her, but Jenny eludes them, and protects 
herself behind Madame.) 

Madame (with a charming smile) : Give your friend 
fair play. Why not let her explain. 

Chorus : Very well. (They stop chasing Jenny, who 
moves a little to the front of Madame.) 

Jenny : First of all I must apologise to Madame 
Julien for impersonating her, but I did think it would 
be such a joke, and how annoyed all you girls would 
be when you found out the truth, for I had meant to 
tell you to-morrow, though I thought you would be 
sporty enough to take it in good part when you had 
calmed down. I never thought it would reach Madame 
Julien' s ears. Of course, I never meant to sing, that 
would have given me away. I therefore unlatched the 
door when Robina wasn't looking, and Elsie, who is 
staying with me, was to be my maid to fetch me away. 
She was just outside and slipped in after me. I didn't 
see how the plan could fail. 

Madame : There is an old saying : " The best-made 
plans of mice and men gang awa ! " But I'm sure your 
friends will forgive you the little deception, and if they 
do, I will sing to them. What do you say ? 

Anne : Since you are so good, Madame, you leave us 
no choice. We forgive Jenny, don't we, girls ? 
Chorus : Yes, rather ! 



no THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

Maud : I would like to know, however, how you 
obtained the piece of Madame' s famous notepaper, 
which the newspapers tell us is made specially for her. 

Jenny (guiltily) : I asked Madame' s maid to give 
me a piece for a souvenir. Please forgive me (to 
Madame). 

Madame : I will, this time, and I don'r think you 
will impersonate me again. What was it my deputy 
was going to sing ? 

Robina : (a popular song of the moment) 

Madame, but perhaps you would rather sing something 
else — though really I should have guessed the false you 

was Jenny, since she knows that is the 

only thing I can play properly. 

Madame : will do beautifully, and you 

must all join in the chorus. Now then, are we ready ? 

(Robina starts to play the introduction, when Madame 
interrupts her, and turns to Jenny, who is struggling to 
remove the galoshes from her feet.) 

Madame : What's the matter, deputy ? 

Jenny : I can't get these awful galoshes off. Aha — 
that's better, they're off at last. 

Madame : If you ever want to impersonate a person 
again, find out first if they wear galoshes. / don't! 
Now then, are we ready ? Go ! 

(Madame sings a verse of , the girls 

take up the chorus, and curtain descends on them as the 
chorus closes.) 



Play Number Six. 

A LITTLE BIRD TOLD US. 
A Playlet in One Act. 

Time. — The present day. 

Characters. — Paula and Doreen Weston, twins aged 
16, both just starting out on ^artistic careers. 

Jemima and Martha Weston, their twin great-aunts. 

Little in the way of property is required, with the 
exception of the telephone, but no doubt the stage 
manager will be able to borrow a movable 'phone, or 
a clever girl could make one out of cardboard. All the 
other props can be found in any household. 

Scene. — Pretty bed sitting-room daintily furnished. 
Exits on either side of the stage. Armchairs to the 
middle and a table. On the table are two parcels over 
which Paula is leaning and addressing them. A tele- 
phone should have a conspicuous position in the room. 
Doreen is also busy at the table. 

Paula {muttering to herself) : Miss Martha Weston. 

Doreen : Haven't you finished addressing them yet ? 
Aunt Jemima and Aunt Martha will be here any 
moment. Do you know I do think it's nice of them to 
come and see us on their birthday : we ought to go 
and see them. 

Paula : They want to come and see what we're 
doing all on our own. They can't get over that we 



112 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

refused to live with them, now we've left school, and 
are in work. They want to find fault. 

Doreen : Oh no, I don't think so. Have you got 
Aunt J.'s letter ? Read out again what she says. 

Paula (reading) : We are paying a round of visits 
to our different nieces and nephews on our birthday, 
and are leaving our Christmas gifts. Martha and I have 
not yet been to your little flat, and we want so much to 
have a look at your little home, though we cannot 
understand your wishing to live in one room when you 
could live in a lovely house like ours. An auspicious 
occasion as our seventieth birthday is just the time for 
a visit. Expect us about half-past three. . . . 

Doreen : It's nearly that now. Do you know I feel 
so nervous, I wish they weren't coming. 

Paula : You are a coon ! They'd be just as modern 
as we are if they got the chance. 

Doreen (laughing) : I can't imagine Aunt Jemima 
in short skirts, nor Aunt Martha with a bobbed head. 
Aunt Jemima loves to knit all day long, and Aunt 
Martha to crochet — and we can't do either. 

Paula : Well, I don't want to, if you and I were to 
quarrel as they do. Aunt J. thinks crocheting is 
terrible, and Aunt M. that knitting is wrong — and they 
both think we are just idiots because we can't do either. 
I wonder what Aunt J. will think of her knitting case 
full of pins. Do you think she does knitting in her 
sleep ? 

Doreen : Shouldn't be surprised. That's one for 
you, Paul, that you should think of an old-fashioned 
knitting case for their Christmas and birthday present 
combined. 

Paula : Not theirs, for Aunt Jemima. If we were 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 113 

to give Aunt Martha a knitting case, I believe she'd have 
a fit. Anyway, she's sure to like the crochet bag and 
pins we've bought. 

Doreen : Are you sure it's crochet pins and not 
needles? That girl at the store was awfully helpful. 
Have we got time to undo the parcels and have a teeny- 
weeny look ? 

Paula (reproachfully) : After I have done them up so 
beautifully — not likely ! It's gone half-past three — 
and there's the bell ! (Bell heard. Paula goes out of 
the room, door left open: confused murmur of voices: 
Doreen moves nervously about. Paula ushers in Aunt 
Jemima and Martha dressed in old-fashioned clothes of 
some forty years ago.) 

Doreen (kissing them both) : Many happy returns of 
the day. 

Martha : Thank you, my dear. You and Paula, 
and Jemima and I, are the only twins in the family. 
Let me see, Paula is half an hour older than you are, 
the same as Jemima is older than I am. 

Jemima (looking round the room, while Martha settles 
herself on a chair and smoothes out her dress) : And a 
century in common sense. Yes, I will sit down when 
I've looked round. The telephone ! What extrava- 
gance ! We would never think of having such a 
thing ! 

Doreen (nervously) : Oh, one must be on the tele- 
phone these days, Aunt. Supposing someone wanted 
us in a hurry ! 

Jemima : When we were young, we were not wanted 
in a hurry. But then, girls did not go in for poster 
painting and dress designing. They were content to 
knit in their spare time. 

H 



H4 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 
Martha : Crochet, my dear Jemima, / never knitted. 

Paula (interrupting hurriedly) : We aren't doing 
spare-time work ; we are trying to earn a living, and 
we've got heaps of orders already. 

Doreen : Yes, heaps. I'm going to make you a 
cup of tea, Aunts. We have a darling little kitchenette 
through that door. 

Jemima : No tea for me, thank you ! I never take 
a cup before half-past four, and by then we must be 
at Mabel's. Mabel has made arrangements with the 
nice couple she lives with to give us tea. She sent us 
such a pretty clock, didn't she, Martha ? Such a nice 
girl, Mabel. And it's such a nice school she's helping 
at until she passes her final exam. What is that you 
are offering Martha, Paula ? Sweets ? Don't eat any 
of them — you know they are bad for your rheumatism. 

Martha (taking a tiny sweet from the box Paula hands 
her) : One little one won't hurt me, Jemima. You know 
you like a glass of wine with your lunch, and I never 
have that. 

Jemima (rising from her seat and looking at the flowers) : 
I take wine as medicine. Well, I must say you have 
a very nice room, but you have been most extravagant 
with flowers. When I was a girl, we used to have 
plants, which, with careful watering, would last for 
months, sometimes years. How much do you save 
a week, Doreen ? 

Doreen (very much confused) : I — I don't know, 
Aunt Jemima. We don't always earn a lot one week. 
How much do we save, Paula? 

Paula : Perhaps a few pence — perhaps a shilling 
or so. I usually put some money in the box you gave 
me when I was a tiny girl, Aunt Jemima, one day, and 



■ • II 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 115 

take it out the next week. We can't save very much — 
yet. 

Jemima : Every mickle makes a muckle was the 
saying when I was a girl. However, as people make 
their bed, so must they lie on it. I told you we were 
going to tea with Mabel. She always saves something 
every week. Such a sweet girl, isn't she, Martha ? 

Martha : Yes, Jemima. Do you think another tiny 
little sweet would hurt me. The last one was very 
small. 

Jemima (grimly) : I do. Come along, Mabel will be 
expecting us. She always has hot buttered toast for 
tea, and I don't like it tough. Mabel is so considerate, 
Doreen. She always remembers that I — that we — like 
hot buttered toast. (Paula gives her a parcel from the 
table.) What's this ? A birthday present ! Well, that 
is very nice of you. I shall open it in the carriage on 
the way to Mabel's. 

Martha (taking the parcel from Doreen) : Thanks very 
much, my dears, sure to be something I want. We are 
keeping our Christmas gifts until you dine with us 
to-morrow. They are a pair of bedsocks each. 

Jemima : There — you've spoiled the surprise. Well, 
good-bye, Paula. Good-bye, Doreen. Don't forget to> 
save a little each week. 

Doreen : Good-bye. (They kiss. Paula escorts the 
aunts off stage, a door is heard to shut off. Doreen moves 
idly about. Paula enters.) 

Paula : Well, it wasn't as bad as we expected. 

Doreen : I don't know whether to laugh or have 
hysterics. It was dreadful ! Bedsocks — ugh ! Mabel I 
How I hate her ! 



316 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

Paula : Mabel's all right really, only she likes to 
pretend a bit. She would just love a telephone and 
flowers in her room, only she thinks the Aunts wouldn't 
like it. They do, only they won't admit it. (Tele- 
phone bell rings and Paula answers it.) Hallo, yes, Miss 
Weston speaking. . . . Yes — the Complete Home 
Stores, yes . . . my great-aunt ! Sorry ! I should 
think you ought to be sorry ! (Paula hangs up receiver 
and comes across to Doreen.) Do you know what those 
idiots of a Complete Home Stores have done 

Doreen : What ? 

Paula : They did the wrong parcels up for the 
aunts. The packing clerk has just confessed his 
mistake. You remember we wanted them put in boxes 
just alike and tied up because you said the Stores would 
do it so much better than we could — the ribbon was 
to be blue for Aunt Jemima as it's her favourite colour, 
and pink for Aunt Martha because it's hers, so that we 
should know which to address to whom, and they put 
the things in the wrong boxes, no, I mean the right boxes 
and the wrong ribbon. That is what comes of not 
doing them up yourself. 

Doreen (with dignity) : I think you are as much to 
blame, Paula. If you will remember I wanted to look 
inside, but you said they were so beautifully tied it was 
best to leave them alone. Even when they were 
addressed I wanted to have a peep, so I don't see how 
you can say it was my fault. 

Paula (in a distracted voice) : Don't you realise, 
Doreen, that they will never believe it was a mistake, 
especially as the girl at the Stores put the wrong cards 
in the wrong boxes. You know how Aunt Jemima 
hates crochet, and Aunt Martha loathes knitting, and 
ihey will both think we did it on purpose for a joke : 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 117 

they always say the modern girl does all she can to 
insult her elders. 

Doreen (angrily) : Well, it isn't my fault. It was 
your suggestion of a knitting case. 

Paula : Yes, agreed. I bet you at this moment 
they are showing their presents to Mabel, and she's 
laughing at them, and saying we moderns will have our 
little joke. You know what that superior tone of her 
voice is like when she wants to be extra superior. You 
should have opened the parcels. 

Doreen (in a deadly calm voice) : You wouldn't let 
me. I'm going to the Club ; you can please yourself 
what you do. 

Paula : I'm going for a swim, and if I ^et drowned 
you'll be sorry. (Ring at the bell.) Oh, dash, who's 
that? 

Doreen (moving towards the kitchenette) : Milkman, I 
expect. We shan't want any milk if you're getting 
drowned. I'm going to see that the gas is off. 

(Paula goes to open the front door with a gesture of 
annoyance. Doreen exits to kitchen : outside is the sound 
of voices, and the two aunts, each holding the wrong boxes, 
come on to the stage, followed by a distracted Paula. 
The boxes are no longer wrapped in brown paper, and 
when Jemima reaches the middle of the stage, she looks 
round.) 

Jemima : Where's Doreen ? 

Paula : Gone to put her hat on. We — we're going 
out. I say, Aunt Jemima, I'm 

Jemima (interrupting) : Yes, yes, I admit it was a 
surprise. However did you guess I had taken up 
crochet ? After all these years, too. Never when your 



n8 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

dear great grandmother tried to teach me could I learn, 
but Martha and I at last decided that we would teach 
each other — she is becoming quite a good knitter, and 
we wouldn't tell anyone until we were quite proficient. 
Now, what I want to know 

Martha (interrupting) : You've done quite enough 
talking, Jemima. I want to , say a word now. I've 
knitted the bedsocks for your presents, twins, what do 
you think of that ? 

Paula : Well, Aunt Martha 

Jemima : Paula, ring up the exchange and send a 
telegram to Mabel, and tell her we shan't be along to 
tea. Isn't it a nuisance she isn't on the telephone? 
it will cost a shilling now to send that wire, and besides 
all the time wasted. I really think we must consider it, 
Martha, as a birthday present to ourselves. Doreen, 
my dear, make us a cup of tea each, and I will taste one 
of those sweets Martha likes so much. But while 
Paula is sending that telegram, you must tell me how 
you knew exactly what we wanted. ? 

Paula (at the 'phone) : Hallo, exchange — give me 
telegrams, please. 

Doreen (as she offers Jemima a sweet) : I guess a 
little bird told us. 

Curtain. 



Play Number Seven. 

THE CHINA SHOP. 
A Humorous Playlet in One Act. 

Characters. — Enid and Rose, two sisters, Rangers, 
who have just left school and have started a china shop 
full of pretty inexpensive china ware. They are neatly 
dressed in pretty overalls. Miss Freda Wilson, film 
director ; should be an important-looking girl. Miss 
Bartlett, an eccentric elderly lady. Miss Jane Long, 
her companion, a fellow Ranger of Enid's and Rose's. 

Notes. — Miss Wilson should be very smartly dressed : 
Miss Bartlett can be dressed suitably to any age, but 
should look " eccentric." Miss Long in neat ordinary 
clothes. 

The properties for this playlet will be more numerous 
than the foregoing ones, as the shop must have plenty of 
china. If one of the girls could paint a drop scene 
with a dresser with china on it, so much the better, and 
less china will be required. However, the china can all 
be cheap stuff, and if tastefully arranged will pass the 
critics. 

Scene. — A room artistically decorated with all kinds 
of china, some of which have visible tickets on them. 
If possible there should be a glass door looking as if 
opening on to the street, on which should be written 
" Enid and Rose, dealers in china " (the reverse way 
from the stage) . Telephone in corner : chair and bare 

119 



120 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

table middle : desk with books, etc., on it R. Another 
exit from the shop into the living quarter's L. Scene 
opens with Enid and Rose on stage : Enid is dusting 
the china with a feather brush : Rose is reading a 
letter. 

Enid (dusting) : Read that letter again, Rose. 

Rose : Yes, it does want a bit of understanding. I'll 
read it very slowly : Dear old girls, you will be surprised 
to hear I have a very good position — that of a com- 
panion to a dear eccentric lady. She is really quite 
harmless, but wants a bit of looking after. Her great 
thing is going round to all china shops and buying 
worthless china — not meaning to be rude, but I mean 
not valuable stuff — and paying for it in imitation notes. 
All the china dealers know her and humour her. My 
job is to go round after her, and pay for the stuff what 
it is worth. She will probably pay a thousand pounds 
for a piece of china, but the money won't be worth a 
thousand farthings that she offers. Of course we try 
to keep her under our control as much as possible, but 
she really is the sweetest thing on earth — except on the 
one subject. I think I must have got the job — awfully 
good money — because I happened to say that two of my 
great friends kept a china shop. She knows where it is, 
so if she descends on you one day, just humour her, take 
her money, and I'll come along and pay the bill. Hope 
to see you soon — yours in guiding, Jane. 

Enid : Jane was always fond of eccentric people — 
that's why she likes us ! But joking apart, supposing 
this good lady — by the way, she hasn't told us her name 
— descends on us, what shall we do ? 

Rose (folding up letter and putting it in the pocket 
of her pinafore) : Do as Jane tells us. Even if we 






THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 121 

don't know her name, we shall be able to tell by her 
manner who she is. I must take that parcel along to 
the post office. I do hope she won't come until I get 
back. (Rose takes a parcel off the table and puts on a 
hat, opens the street door.) 

Enid : I shall keep her, never fear: But she won't 
come. (Exit Rose.) 

(Enid continues dusting, and humming a little tune. 
Suddenly she stops and sniffs at the air, drops the broom.) 

Enid (hurrying to exit to house) : Gracious me ! The 
soup is burning ! (Exit.) 

(Shop door opens immediately and Miss Freda Wilson 
enters. She pauses and looks around : advances to middle 
of stage.) 

Freda : Well, they have a very nice little shop. I 
felt sure I should be able to obtain all I want from it 
for my scene. Of course, they may not lend the things, 
but they will if they have any sense, because it will be 
a splendid advertisement. I notice they have nothing 
very expensive here, but with a little bit of faking, I 
daresay we shall be able to make the things look price- 
less. It must be careful faking though, for the camera 
never lies. I wish it did sometimes, when I think of 
that film in which we had to have fresh flowers every 
day for a fortnight, and arranged exactly the same. 
Ah me, a film producer's life is not all honey, but we 
fall in with humorous episodes. (She moves towards a 
piece of china and picks it up.) This with a little faking 
could be made a piece of priceless Andreoli lustre ware. 
I wish either of the young ladies would come along : 
I want to get back to the studio. It's very bad busi- 
ness their leaving the shop like this. 



122 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

(Enter Enid rather breathless.) 

Enid : I beg your pardon : my — my soup was boil- 
ing over, and my partner had to go to the post. Please 
forgive me, we do not as a rule conduct our business 
like this. 

(Enter Rose from street : sees customer and puts on 
her best business manner.) 

Rose : Can I show some of our china, madam ? 
We have a nice selection. 

Freda : Yes, I shall be glad to see some. As a 
matter of fact, I want a lot of china. I really want 
priceless china. I must explain what I want it for. I 
don't mind very much what I pay, but of course you 
must not charge me too much. This vase here could 
be a piece of priceless Andreoli lustre for instance — 
but let me explain. 

Enid (in a loud aside) : She's come. 

Rose (quickly and soothingly, as if speaking to a 
child) : Yes, yes, I know exactly what you want. The 
piece in your hand, for instance 

Freda : That will do splendidly. I want several 
pieces like that for a mantelpiece. But you cannot 
know exactly what it's all for. Let me explain 

Enid (interrupting) : But there is no need to. We 
have had Miss Long's letter, and we know you want 
some priceless china 

Freda (interrupting) : I do not understand what you 
mean. I know a Miss Long certainly, but she is a com- 
panion to one of my relations, but she does not know 
for what I want any china. 

Rose (aside to Enid) : Don't mention Jane's name. 






THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 123 

Of course the poor old thing isn't going to give herself 
away. (To Freda) : I — I think my sister is muddling 
you up with someone else. I quite understand — you 
want some priceless china — such as the piece you have 
in your hand. 

Freda (in a more amiable tone of voice) : Exactly. 
You will grasp the situation in a few moments. We are 
having a room full of priceless china : there will be 
priceless china on the tea table and so on. Now you 
will understand when I say the camera never lies 

Enid (aside) : The camera never lies : the woman is 
madder than ever. (To Freda) : Anything you care 
for here is for sale. Most of our things are priceless, 
and we quite understand that is why you came to us. 

Freda : But I don't consider these priceless. What I 
want to explain is that I want the things to look price- 
less. Just let me tell you why I want them to look 
priceless : the camera, as I told you, never lies, and 

Rose : Of course, we have cheaper things if you would 
like to see them. Please sit down and my sister and I 
will show you some. That lustre you have in your 
hand, for instance, is not an expensive piece. I expect 
they are turned out by the hundreds, but people like 
something pretty, and you will admit that is that. 

Freda : But your sister has just told me it is price- 
less. Are you selling worthless things as real ? You 
are liable to be imprisoned if you are. 

Rose (quickly) : Oh, no, no ! I mean everything we 
have here is quite priceless. 

Freda : But I don't want it to be. Let me explain. 
I am staying in the neighbourhood, and I was told if I 
went along to " Enid and Rose," I could get as much 
china as I wanted, for, as I was trying to explain to you 



124 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

when you would keep interrupting, I want quite a lot, 
for the camera never lies. It must, of course, be quite 
inexpensive, but think of the advertisement you will 
get. Any breakages will be paid for in proportion, and 
I will see that you have a notice in the local paper. I 
can't do any more, can I ? 

Enid (sitting down and holding her head) : That is 
very kind of you. (Aside) : Madder than I thought. 
Camera — local paper. 

Rose (fiddling with some paper on her desk) : Extreme- 
ly kind of you. But how will you take it ? 

Freda : I'll get some men from the studio to come 
and fetch it. I shall only want it for a few days. Now 
as regards terms. What shall we say ? 

Enid (slowly) : It's rather difficult. Shall we say a 
thousand pounds for the lot ? 

Freda : Preposterous ! The whole shop to buy 
wouldn't be worth that, while to borrow 

Rose (aside) : Not quite so mad ! (To Freda) : 
What in the world do you want to borrow all this china 
for — if I might ask you, madam ? 

Freda : I want it for a set. People don't like lend- 
ing things, I know, for they often get broken, but what 
we break we will replace 

Enid : But there are all kinds of sets here. Tea sets, 
dinner sets, bedroom sets — if you would let us know 
which kind you want the china for — we shall be most 
pleased to help. 

Freda (walking towards the door) : Have I come to a 
private lunatic asylum. Here am I talking about 
cinema sets, and you are talking about china sets. 
Didn't you get my letter 



I 



THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 125 

(Door opens as Miss Wilson is speaking, and Jane 
comes in. Both Enid and Rose make a rush for her, 
and seize a hand. Rose speaks in a loud stage whisper.) 

Rose (in a loud whisper) : She's madder than even 
you said — talking about cinema sets with china sets. 

Freda (haughtily) : Would you please let me pass. 
I must go elsewhere to borrow my china for the film. 
I shall certainly not recommend you 

Enid : Why don't you stop her, Jane ? She ought 
to be locked up, really she ought. 

Jane : This isn't Miss Bartlett, my employer. 

Rose and Enid (together) : What ! ! 

(Miss Wilson has reached the door, is opening it, when 
she is unceremoniously pulled back to the middle of stage.) 

Enid : We must apologise for our seeming rudeness 
Miss — Miss — er, Miss — but we were expecting a Miss 
Bartlett, who is — er — just a little eccentric. 

Freda : You mistook me for my cousin, Miss 
Bartlett. I do not feel flattered. 

Jane (hastily) : They have never seen her, Miss 
Wilson. I wrote to my two old friends telling them 
they might expect a visit from her, since they keep a 
china shop, but I can't think how they made the 
mistake. 

Rose : Neither can we. Only you see we were 
expecting Miss Bartlett, and you must admit, Miss 
Wilson, you didn't explain your business when you 
entered — and even now I'm not quite sure what you 
want. 

Freda (laughing) : I thought you had had my letter, 
so perhaps I am a little to blame. I want to borrow 



126 THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 

your china shop for a scene in one of my films. The 
china is supposed to be priceless, but, of course, that 
would never do in case any piece became smashed. 
I am willing to pay well, naturally. Even now I have 
put the cart before the horse, and have not told you 
the name of the film company — it is the Regal, and I am 
Freda Wilson, the director. 

Enid : Thank you very much for explaining. We 
shall be pleased to lend you whatever you want. I 
believe you will send your own men to fetch it ? How 
long will you want it for, because we must put a notice 
on the door ? 

Freda : One day, and I'll see you have a good advert- 
isement in the local Press. I advise you to write a 
notice and put it on the door that the shop will be 
closed to-morrow. 

Rose : I'll do it now. (Rose moves towards the writing 
table, followed by Jane. Enid and Miss W. come to 
the middle of the stage.) 

Freda : Then the van will be here very early to- 
morrow, if those terms are agreeable to you. 

Enid : Quite, thank you, Miss Wilson. 

(Door opens, and Miss Bartlett puts her head round 
the corner. She sees all the china, and comes over to 
Enid.) 

Miss B. : I see I have come to the right place. I am 
a collector of priceless china, and I see you have some 
very good pieces. I always pay cash, and I have heaps 
of it here (opens bag). Now, how much will you take 
for this priceless jug ? 

Jane : So very sorry — but it's all sold. You have 
come on a wild goose's chase here, Miss Bartlett. Let 






THE POPULAR BOOK OF ENTERTAINING 127 

me take you home. (She takes hold of Miss Bartlett's 
arm and leads her to the door.) 

Miss B. : A wild goose's chase, eh ? Just when I 
had all this money to spend, too. Well, if I can't have 
something, I will break something. (Seizes hold of 
jug or cup and dashes it to ground. Exits, followed by 
Jane.) 

Freda : Hope it was nothing valuable. 

Enid (picking up the bits) : Priceless- — from the six- 
penny store ! 

Curtain. 



PRINTED IN GREAT BRITAIN BY 
JUACKAYS LIMITED, CHATHAM 



